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Open Poetry #46
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November un-named
| Open Poetry #46 |
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November un-named |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now 
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No, it isn`t loneliness- as water laminates the pane and collects in sodden sympathy of the moldering garden . Don`t call it sorrow; the afternoon`s moist concrete sky won`t curl at the edges to unfurl a scroll of fire . no matter what we sob. What is this weight, then in the wet of chest, where the fibres bend in aquiescence? . Never say despair- the naked elm still holds a woodthrush, quivering in blackened palms. [This message has been edited by Amaryllis (10-30-2010 08:17 PM).] |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
This is kind of dark and still hopeful in beautiful way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Don`t call it sorrow; the afternoon`s wet concrete sky won`t curl at the edges to unfurl a scroll of fire ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Especially like that verse, something about the curl and unfurling. Great writing, A~ |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
damn~ once in a while I read something and think, I wish I had written that... then once in a while I read something and am simply moved beyond wishing I had written it, to the place I know I can't write like that.... this falls into the latter category... beautiful ma'am... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ying and Yang poetically expressed....beautiful. |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Bluesy, thank you~ yes, rather dusky, this one, I suppose I was painting an atmosphere... not always sun-loved (at least here in the NW)  . Thank you, Cpat... am humbled by your words, as am sure you both can and indeed do write similarily... with your own unique gift to say it in new ways  Much appreciated.... Thank you too, my dear `Deer! Best to you... and to all~ Amaryllis |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very good! Love that concrete sky line and it took me visually to many skies I have seen that resemble that. "Don`t call it sorrow; the afternoon`s moist concrete sky won`t curl at the edges to unfurl a scroll of fire' The lines following finish it off well. Love it!! Eric |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
fine writing. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You have sure made a fan of me that is for sure. I absolutely either feel or see everything you write. This in my mind was just such a beautiful dark painting. |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Thank you so much, ethome, Prasad, and Mysteria, for the kind words and comments :hug: Best~ Amaryllis |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
I like the esoteric nature of this interesting poetry effort. A series of events, i.e., clouds which will not cooperate; the wetness of our despair settling within our chest, and finally a lone woodthrush quivers among a naked elm. I believe the darkness won out here. . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
A lot said in so few lines. The power of a true poet. I bow to you and yours. Though Jerry says, "the darkness won out," I think the woodthrush still gives us hope. And where there is hope, there is light. Thanks for sharing. |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
I want to thank you, Jerry, and Andrew, for your kind comments on the poem~ much appreciated1 Best~ Amaryllis |
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