Open Poetry #46 |
Children |
rosepetals36 Member
since 2010-07-09
Posts 137Pa |
I dont like this title. Picking titles is the hardest part for me lol Children Hop hop hop here to there back and forth Run run run in circles around and around Jump jump jump up and down in the same spot Spin spin spin again and again giggles everywhere Laugh laugh laugh and light up the entire room Hope hope hope is what I see when I see his smile Love love love in every hug and every kiss What would the world be without children? -- Used to be rosepetals25 :) I never know what to say when I reply to a poem, so ignore the lameness! |
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© Copyright 2010 Tara Baldridge - All Rights Reserved | |||
Eusta B. Mae Senior Member
since 2010-05-03
Posts 903 |
Rosepetals36- The title works fine because of your last line of the poem. If you want to change the title to something like "My Child" for example, you could simply change the last line to match. I like this poem. The topic and simple style are very complmentary. Good capture of "heart moments" Mom! ebm |
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rosepetals36 Member
since 2010-07-09
Posts 137Pa |
If the title fits, I will leave it. I am never happy with my titles LOL I was thinking of James (my 3yr old) and how he NEVER sits down lol I wish I could syphon some of his energy! -- Used to be rosepetals25 I never know what to say when I reply to a poem, so ignore the lameness! |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
people puppies do seem to have an endless energy source..I am going into my second childhood so I hope my energy level takes off soon. kewl window ms |
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rosepetals36 Member
since 2010-07-09
Posts 137Pa |
I had to laugh at your people puppies lol James would love that! Ty for reading! -- Used to be rosepetals25 :) I never know what to say when I reply to a poem, so ignore the lameness! |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I think te title fits perfectly and the poem is charming. Ida |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This is absolutely lovely and the title is fine for me. Your son inspired it, but it fits all children. There is sunshine in your words. Love, Margherita |
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rosepetals36 Member
since 2010-07-09
Posts 137Pa |
Thank you Marchmadness and Margherita I'm glad you both liked! -- Used to be rosepetals25 :) I never know what to say when I reply to a poem, so ignore the lameness! |
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