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Open Poetry #46
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More Then I Deserve
| Open Poetry #46 |
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More Then I Deserve |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050
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What is this word, they call meaning? As in, the explanation of creation, the significance of life, this essence, of our being. What if there simply is no meaning? What if we are just a stain on some senseless timeline that someone forgot to wipe up? Or who knows, maybe we are, that one blip of relevance that is trying so desperately to vanish not into the blank stare of indifference? Why does the clock only know two words, tick and tock? Why does, it only know how many ticks of days I have and tocks of night? I get tired of staring at its face, as its arms keep pushing me to hurry my pace, reminding me that we only get so many beats ourselves. This sundial, it alarms me from my sleep. This stopwatch, keeps telling me how fast to drive to work, going quicker and quicker the more and more, I look at its smirk. Why should, we live longer than flowers? Time is just a figure eight that fell down on its side, laughing at conclusion. I smashed open an hourglass the other day and grabbed a handful of time and squeezed it, to make it stop. To just, please, please, stop for a minute so I could remember who I wasn’t and just recall what name the day was calling itself. But the harder my grip the faster it slipped, through my fingers. Just like love sometimes. Yesterday is just a returned check of memory isn’t it? And tomorrow, is a faded I.O.U. of wish. Even today, is merely borrowed time that you can spend, but never really own. Dream, is the only eternity of while. And love, is the only decelerator, of days. Whenever my eyes scar from lies I just rub a few dabs of moment on them and eventually, the naked truth reappears. And I’m healed. There is no better healer then duration is there? Why don’t we just stop time altogether, and let everything just happen, all at once? Let seconds, be sensations, and minutes marvels, let the hours be magic and the days, become wonder. Maybe the void just got lonely one day and invented nonsense, or humans, just to watch us scratch our heads and make goofy faces like we actually understand what the hell is going on? A world of witnesses now serving time on planet penitentiary for breaking and entering into the apartment of appreciation and the halls, of imagination. It’s true, nothing can last forever can it? Well, except for nothing. Twinkies and Spam notwithstanding. This, meaning of life. Is actually quite simple isn’t it? The meaning of life, is to understand, its meaning. Okay? Doesn’t that make absolute sense? Of course it does, thank you very nice. What? Brilliant? Oh well thank you, thank you! I’ve been trying to tell you guys that for ages. Oh wait, hang on folks? I’m reading this off my notes that are wet and torn, and so some of these words are kind of bleeding into each other. I might have this back side down, or sideways up, I haven’t actually made up my mind quite yet? You know how when you have to explain a joke how it’s really not very funny anymore? It’s kind of the same thing here. You know the moment we start to understand something, it kind of loses a part of its luster doesn’t it? Kind of like a rainbow, or an eclipse, or the aurora borealis. How mystical they must have been when we didn’t quite understand what they actually were? Or why we cry, bleed, laugh, dream, or smile? Sometimes the more we know the less we truly understand, and appreciate. But then that’s me I guess. My brain is just small enough and my ego just big enough to think that I got all this crap figured out. I spent the first half of my life believing in everything and the last half, believing in nothing. , Not a very good way of reasoning is it? Kind of like picking all the true in a true and false test knowing that by default you will at least get about half of the answers right. But that way you’re not really learning anything are you? And you’re only really cheating yourself, which makes about as much sense as falling in love with someone you know you can never have. Because you’re cheating on your own heart’s happiness with your own broken dream. Maybe the simple reason that there is no point in life, is what makes it so very special? Funny how sometimes when we look so hard for an answer we finally find out that we are, the question. Maybe the meaning all along was to not waste the time looking for it, in the second place let alone, the first? Kind of like running against the wind to see where it came from. That like the songs and the statures of the earth. It was just meant to be. That it was just meant to be enjoyed. And that’s it. I mean isn’t that enough? Why do we always feel the need to have to justify everything? Like our existence. I don’t care if we are, a lie. I’m here. And so are all of you. And that’s more then I’ll ever deserve for the rest of my life.. Birth is death, and death, is life. Demise, is the path life, is the roamer, and our spirit, is the mentor. Our shadow is the constant reminder that darkness is for those walking into the past. As the sun only kisses travelers, in advance. Funny how reading is taking, and writing, is giving I mean good lord, how many pages can one poem contain? This book of breath and death that still remains. All we can do is add to it, if we’re lucky. What came first, hope or darkness? What came last, laughter or faith? Sometimes you have to walk a path backwards to know if it was worth it or not. If I broke it down mathematically I might say that the formula for life is to simply divide the universe, by zero. Wait! Scratch that, that’s the formula for black holes! Hang on, let me sharpen my pencil a little better. Okay how about this? Life = Sum divided by decisions x fate squared minus eternity I might be a little off there I don’t have my slide rule. I think I’ll just stick to counting my blessings. Its sad when Some people finally live, on their last breath, as others die as soon as their born. You know it was never really about waiting for the cloudburst to pass as much as it was learning how to waltz in the rain. People spend their whole lives talking about, certain, miracles when all along, every breath is a miracle. Isn’t it? If there is, a god, I hope she helps me lean into the darkness until I melt into the light. And please, dear please just let me live until I die. |
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bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
Wow! this is a cascade of thought tied to language that spirals down the Wonderland rabbithole of our existance...I adore the sound of clocks in poetry BTW~ ~write on~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Slow down, Richy...you're making me crazy. I thought I was the only one asking all those questions, knowing there was no answer or knowing the answer all along was standing there in plain sight. To wonder sometimes feels like a curse, but you are blessed, my friend. Just one day, one moment at a time...and make it a good one...I say. Hugs! |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
I love the way you write. It boils down to: we think too much.Let's pack a lunch and run off to the beach. love it. latearrival |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Once again, you have penned one of the finest pieces to be read this day, this week, this year, this life. I honestly don't believe that that's saying too much. There are so many thoughts and ideas here that resonate with me. Your style and content is a true joy to read. Again, it's long, but worth the journey... as those last lines are a perfect fit to all that has gone before. To highlight any particular lines would be an injustice to the whole... as this write is definitly greater than the sum of it's parts. Having read several of your latest, I can't help but feel these would make a great center piece for a book. I don't know about anyone else, but I'd buy it!  "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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katahdin Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196ME. In the Shadow of the Mt. |
WOW! WOW! This was a great read! I've asked myself many of these questions too. I think we all do. Loved it! Kat >^..^< |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Thank you soo much Baby G! One time an alarm clock got me so mad I wouldn't even give it the time of day. Boy I sure taught it a lesson :P Thanks dearheart! |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Lol Martie, yes I do have a habit of making people crazy  Thank you sweet friend, yes the answers are there, we just need to figure out which questions go to them yes? Soo nice to hear from you again! Richard Hugs to you too! |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Thank you latearrival! Yes, let's pack some sand-wiches and head down to the beach! Sounds like fun! Richard xx |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Andrew my friend, thank you for your wonderful kindness, I don't know what to say. I'm glad you've enjoyed some of my scribbles. I really appreciate all of your support! Richard |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Thank you Katahdin, keep asking questions, it's who we are Richard xx |
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Nocturnal Pulse Member
since 2010-08-12
Posts 84Australia |
This needs to be an exemplar of an 'epic' poem. Awesome work, truely introspective. [This message has been edited by Nocturnal Pulse (08-13-2010 08:05 AM).] |
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Ah, another exemplary Richy offering! The sometimes length of your poems never scares me off.. you write so well that you don`t lose the reader. I find I never want them to end. Fantastic! ~Amaryllis |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Thanks for the kind words NP I really appreciate that! Amaryllis, any note from you is always a blessing. Thanks dear friend for always being so supportive, it means a ton! Richard xx |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Richy - wow, what thoughts and the essence of meaning... BC |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Richy - I think you've pretty much got the meaning of life all worked out judging by the ending. Many of us, I'm sure, take the same journey towards understanding. I know I have and my conclusions are similar to yours. My version would be to enjoy life until I die. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to "enjoy" but it can be done. That being said, what a wonderful write! Thank you! Helen |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Richie, I loved to follow your thoughts ... it felt like being in midst of a river unable to stop, just screaming like hell battling between fear and pure delight ... the freedom of being and being AWARE of being alive. This was an event. quote: In fact science says there is no past, nor future, just the NOW that contains everything. Linear time that is all packed into the now ... wow! Thank you for this fantastic read. Love, Margherita |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Most impressive write, Rich. Ida |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
"You know the moment we start to understand something, it kind of loses a part of its luster doesn’t it?" yep, nothing like the unknown and mysterious to keep one alive and tingling I read this last night before bed but just didn't have the words... guess I still don't. But know, I was touched but these thoughts of you, my friend. |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Bill - thank you friend, always glad when you stop by Honeybunch - Yes Helen, life isn't all tea and biscuits all the time is it? We do our best though don't we? Thanks dear for your thoughts! |
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Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Margherita - Even if there isn't a past, and future, there still is, memory, and hope, which kind of gets us even more confused? Thank you dearheart for always placing your words softly around my shoulder. Ida - Thanks dear friend, glad you stopped in! Dixie - It's better to say something, then have the best thing to say and still not say it, yes? Anything you will ever say to my scribbles will always be the perfect thing. Thanks guys! |
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