Paper Crane - `me` - pipTalk Forums

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Earl Brinkman
Senior Member

since 2010-03-03

Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan

0 posted 2010-07-30 12:54 PM

Paper Crane - `me`

Supple fingers
With a deftness born of constant practice
Fold paper-me inward, flip paper-me outward
Twist paper-me upward, tweak paper-me downward
Fingers - quick, repetitive and flawless
Well...most of the time

Lovely, lovely fingers
With speed brought by endless folding
Tuck paper-you inward, turn paper-you outward
Curl paper-you upward, crease paper-you downward
Fingers - perfection in paper pursuing
But...coming up short

Cold, cruel mechanical fingers
Create a flock of you and me
Crumpled pink papers here, crinkled blue papers there
Beautiful papers dead with no words left or said
Fingers - mass makers of you and me
And...all our defects

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2010-07-30 07:59 AM

nicely done...with a unique set of images...
well done indeed!

I enjoyed

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

2 posted 2010-07-30 01:32 PM

Earl, this is one of those "true poetry" pieces, a poetic and unique way to describe feelings in ways others haven't considered.

Fold paper-me inward, flip paper-me outward
Twist paper-me upward, tweak paper-me downward

That, folks, is poetry. Very nicely done "hatsoff"

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

3 posted 2010-07-31 03:41 AM

I enjoyed this very much. The rhythm of your words is extremley effective and creates a vivid impression.

Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

4 posted 2010-08-01 03:57 PM

Fine effort, enjoyed the poem.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

5 posted 2010-08-01 10:09 PM

I'm just going to echo the Bard and give you a big

on this piece. Mighty fine... mighty fine in deed!

"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra."

[This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (08-02-2010 12:07 AM).]

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

6 posted 2010-08-01 11:02 PM

and I shall echo everyone else! wondeful!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

7 posted 2010-08-03 10:43 AM

origami soul..very cool

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