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bel1e
Senior Member

since 2006-07-24

Posts 1631

0 posted 2010-07-06 07:17 AM

In a valentine wilderness
of swans grown fat and rapt
on the fine white rain of morning,
emerging fold on fold into five fathoms of blue,
unruly blue, I build for you
a temple out of sorrow and hew
out of my heart’s far and midnight pitch,
the river of which the soul might drink
and body late, sink
into forgetfulness as into hyacinths,

I search and search this exile
with lolling hands, trapped
in the virulent hourglass of Oz,
that seals out all light, in Lethe
and lenient sands wreathe
the wistful skin, dapples
its open veins, pale
to the fervent tremor of the dying fern
and sumac, asleep in the sling of Winter’s black

unwilling heart, abashed
in its Sodom of color, glassed under
as poppies in storm waters,
beneath the gray pall of heaven’s ardor,
these vehement swans drive their hearts
endlessly into the ground and golden paths
of stone emerge in yellow brick roads
that go far into our goodnight wilderness
of dream, of dream,
to seam a fine white coat of rain
upon the wounds love leaves,
latent, until it slays.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2010-07-06 12:24 PM

unwilling heart, abashed
in its Sodom of color, glassed under
as poppies in storm waters,
beneath the gray pall of heaven’s ardor,
these vehement swans drive their hearts
endlessly into the ground and golden paths
of stone emerge in yellow brick roads
that go far into our goodnight wilderness
of dream, of dream,
to seam a fine white coat of rain
upon the wounds love leaves,
latent, until it slays.

I love the way you weave.....
this from beginning to exquisite end a true pleasure to read and tug at strings as the soul tries to unravel...

beautiful ma'am... as always.

bel1e
Senior Member

since 2006-07-24

Posts 1631

2 posted 2010-07-06 01:28 PM

~*~Thanks Chief~*~

katahdin
Senior Member

since 2010-07-01

Posts 1196
ME. In the Shadow of the Mt.

3 posted 2010-07-06 07:47 PM

Very nice. I wish I could write potery like that.
Kat >^..^<

bel1e
Senior Member

since 2006-07-24

Posts 1631

4 posted 2010-07-06 08:20 PM

hey Kat~

Thanks for checking this out~*~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2010-07-07 07:43 AM

"of which the soul might drink
and body late, sink
into forgetfulness"

Some days I wish to be able to do that~~~

As always, beautifully expressed.

M

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

6 posted 2010-07-07 08:58 AM

brilliantly woven from start to finish; I love the way you use assonance and alliteration to control the mood and speed at which this is read; I read it twice aloud, finding it so musical in a melancholy way. I am inspired by reading the fruit of such a talented poetess.

miscellanea

easy1
Senior Member

since 2010-05-22

Posts 1209
Southeastern USA

7 posted 2010-07-07 09:45 AM

Very interesting and well wordsmithed. The change of perspective from swans in rain to raindrops as fast-descending swans is pretty good poetic imagination.

bel1e
Senior Member

since 2006-07-24

Posts 1631

8 posted 2010-07-07 10:07 AM

M~ thank you kindly, my friend~

~hugs

bel1e
Senior Member

since 2006-07-24

Posts 1631

9 posted 2010-07-07 10:08 AM

miscellanea~

thank you for such a wonderful reply~

~love & light~

bel1e
Senior Member

since 2006-07-24

Posts 1631

10 posted 2010-07-07 10:09 AM

easy1~

thank you so much for stopping to read & for the great review!

love & light

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