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Poem Wars
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Poem Wars |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Well one day in a galaxy far, far away these two droids and a wookie at Passions did play. They tried writing and rhyming things right off the cuff so, poetically speaking "Who had the right stuff?" Now, Toebacca could muster some pretty good rhymes and he'd follow a format, least most of the time, while, my friends, LngJhnD2 could spin quite a poem though gyrating as smoke billowed out of his dome! This of course left the third I think most of you know kinda goes by the name Balladeer3PO, and it's said Balladeers' microprocessors ran just about twice as fast as the average mans'. Now it seems on this day near as I can recall either Toe or LngJhn wrote some stuff on Deers' wall as a prank, nothing big things like "Say did you know, for a good time just call Balladeer3PO !" Course now Deer took it wrong and defended his name "I'll go Poem Wars on you!" he most loudly proclaimed and with that took his pen and a Jedi Knight stance and dispensed a few kicks to the seats of their pants! It's all true, I should know, though you doubt what I say ... 'cause along with the "Force" I was with him that day. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Well, I certainly understand why old "deer was upset we all know he's truthful and writes a mean couplet but can't abide lying or willfully misleading the public... For a good time you know see deer3po is just false advertising... |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Poem Wars II ( Attack of the Clowns) In our last episode Balladeer3PO did poetically pummel both LgnJhn and Toe. Much as Yoda might say, backwards though he does speak "Deer, your money on put, any day of the week. As this story unfolds Balladeer3PO has been challenged once more by LgnJhn and ol' Toe. With his light saber wit and a touch of the force, he most handily wins as is par for the course. Oh, but wait, for no sooner are they both dispatched someone sends in more clowns, there's a whole 'nother batch! We got "Doctor the Moose" and there's "Larry the C" and there's "Andrew the Scott" back again so I see! Can our hero remain at the top of the heap, when the going gets tough and the stuff gets knee deep? Please stay tuned all you Pipsters there's likely to be lots more pickles to ponder in episode III! So until we return, man, whatever you do, you'd best put on some boots, may the force be with you! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Cpat, Lol @ your reply, feel free to jump in and help with the story line. Doc |
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Eldest Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177Alabama |
when's the next verse out????? |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Eldest, Thanks for asking, happy to oblige. Doc |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Poem Wars Episode III(The Return of the "C") If those Pipsters still with us will try to recall, Balladeer on a heap stood above of us all. But he's not one to brag, though he probably should, at this poetry stuff he's just that gol dang good. But I tend to digress, back to episode three of the poem that I call "The return of the "C". Now , the "C" did not seek to unseat Balladeer, and in fact was content just to post his stuff here. It was said milk of kindness ran straight from his cup, but that's passe and boring so I made this up. A great battle was waged twixt the "Deer" and the "C" and their light saber pens raged quite gloriously. "I'm your father!" cried Larry to Deer3PO "Why, I used to make robots at home, don'tcha know, and in you I installed the PIP Poetry Chip, it's the top of the line, came from China by ship!" Can it possibly be Balladeer3PO is a 'bot Larry C put together... who knows? It may well just explain all his perfect refrains either that or this narrator's going insane! Do not miss Poem Wars IV or you may never know, if the "C" did create Balladeer3PO ! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You are something else! This is terrific, keep them coming! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Mysteria, Why, thank you, and as I said earlier, please feel free to add to the story line, it's all in good fun. Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ah, Doc, it is always a pleasure to see your wit on display, as it is here. Tough part of the month for me, work-wise, but rest assured, I'll be back to contribute. Unfortunately, you can forget LngJhnD2 and Toebacca, since it would involve actual wit, but I suppose they could contribute half a poem!  Great mind on display...for a moose!  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Thank you my good friend, as you well know by now I am having waaaay too much fun with this to stop now and I must see it through to its' illogical conclusion. Doc |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Poem Wars IV ( A Blue Soap ) In our last episode of poem wars we proposed Balladeer3PO was a robot, who knows? Like most soap operas this don't have to make sense fact it says so right in my poetic license! Anyway, Balladeer3po had these plans to the "Death Poem" as written by some guy named "Hans" who sang solo on down at the PIP corner pub tippin' beers an' just lookin' for elbows to rub. Here we segue right to the next phase of the plot which of course means none other than "Andrew the Scott" walks on in and says " Hey Balladeer3PO have you seen LngJhnD2 and how about Toe?" And I'll bet you were thinkin' that I'd lost my place sent my mind on vacation right out into space I've got news my dear reader this ain't nuthin' yet once again Yoda says " Doctor on, you can bet!" Oh hey, look at the time there I really must go, I've got episode V now to write don'tcha know so stay tooned this is proof pretzel logic exists or how else could a plot have so many wierd twists? |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Poem Wars V ( Toebacca Strikes Out ) Welcome back to a galaxy far, far away, let's get Poem Wars part V T. S. O. under way. Now Toebacca had long had his sights on the "Deer" as his rebel alliance with LngJhn made clear. Balladeer3PO shall we say had a knack of provoking these rebels until they attacked I'd say it might a was they was jealous cuz he wrote the best stuff there was in the whole galaxy. Now I hope for your sake you remembered those boots didn't I say "it gets deep" that's just how it computes! Anyway, we got Toebacca poised for a fight LngJhnD2 is there standing just to his right Balladeer3PO goes in quick for the kill with poetic prowess pouring out of his quill... And the Wookie Toebacca an' LngJhnD2 well suffice it to say not just yet are they through. Though they're in what you might call a poetic fix, you'll just have to come back to see Poem Wars part VI ! |
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Eldest Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177Alabama |
just gets better and better. Toe, where are you?? |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Eldest, Thank you, good question lol. Doc |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Poem Wars VI (The Return of That "Fred" Guy) Welcome back rabid readers we're ready to roll Toe and LngJhn are in a poetic black hole Balladeer3PO once again reigns supreme they're all part of this guy name of Freds' spaced out dream. Seems like "Fred" got his hands on the wrong kind of "script" as a doctor I think the poor guy's really flipped, but then hey, he told me Balladeer3PO wanted episode six so okay, here we go. The poetic black hole wherein lie Toe and Jhn Balldeer3PO dug for them to try on blasting them into space with his skill and his wit Yes, you still need your boots 'cause that ain't half of it... same with Andrew the Scott an' ol' Larry the C and it's rumored that once it may well have been me! So now reader I ask what the poets should do a poetic black hole's done in more than a few. Will our lads for all time be condemned to this place, in poetic limbo in the cold depths of space? Better hike up them boots for the next episode, When it comes to deep "stuff" we got the motherload! [This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (06-30-2010 03:19 PM).] |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Poem Wars VII, VIII, IX Well if after all this you're still hanging around "Get a life" might apply kinda harsh though it sounds. Old George Lucas himself even quit after six, what the heck "Balladeer3PO" here's your fix. When we last left our crew they were all lost in space having just been cast out of PIP poetry place, for the crimes they committed against the big cheese aka Balladeer3PO if you please. LngJhnD2 and Toe were the first ones to go Larry C., Andrew Scott, Doctor Moose? I don't know. I'm still trying to recall all those things that Fred said, it's his dream after all ( that boy's sick in the head !) He's got issues I tell ya not easily solved pretty much that's how this crazy story evolved. Now there's just one way out of this whole tangled mess, should I tell you right now , or would you rather guess? It's the "Force" but of course it sorts everything out, when a lunatic dreams, matters not what about. When it's all said and done and right down to the end, it's the stories we tell when we are amongst friends. So I stand as the last final scene comes to close, at conventional poetry thumbing my nose. ( fini ) |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
 This is absolutely the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Love it and you, Dr Moose, do mooses proud throughout the world! Alison |
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katahdin Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196ME. In the Shadow of the Mt. |
Wonderfull, enjoyed it greatly. K |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Great work Dr.Moose.Sorry you were not able to pull the other guys in. latearrival |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Alison, Thank you, to me, this is what makes writing so interesting. I have absolutely no idea where these things are going until the end, and it's one heck of a fun ride getting there, lol. Doc katahdin, Thank you, welcome to Passions. That you found it funny without knowing the history behind it says I must have done something right, lol. Doc latearrival, Thanks, glad you enjoyed. Yeah me too, who knows where this would've ended up then? Doc |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You are a riot Doc! A very talented one too! Enjoyed! |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Denise, Thank you. My little way of contributing to this great place here. Doc |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
TOE TREK -------- . It was star date fifty four point two, A calm day for Jean-Luc and crew As they maneuvered endless skies Aboard the Starship Enterprise. They sailed along quite happily, Far corners of the galaxy With Data, Worf, Deanna Troy, Riker, the doctor and her boy. 'Twas Worf, I think, the first to see What would become their malady. He said, "Captain, sir, I think I spied An alien craft on our port side." Yes, there it was, now in full sight. It's hull gave off an eerie light With laser cannons sticking out. It was a battle craft, no doubt. "Hail them!", shouted out Picard To Worf, commander of the guard. "There's no reply"' Worf answered back. "I'd say they're ready to attack!" The Data said, "There's trouble now. I see another off the bow And yet another over there. We are surrounded everywhere!" Jean-Luc then cried out, "RED ALERT! Those laser cannons really hurt! Data! Take us to warp four And keep the pedal to the floor!" "Warp engines offline", Data said. Jean-Luc ran finger through his head. (He used to run them through his hair And still forgets it isn't there.) "Commander Worf! Let fly with phasers! Aim them at their canon's lasers. Riker! Turn us hard about! Let's try to find some small way out." Just then, to no one's sad surprise, The ships fired on the Enterprise. The shields held but wouldn't long. Those laser blasts were just too strong. Will Riker said, "What can we do? Our power's offline. Our weapons, too. It looks like we've run out of luck. We're nothing but a sitting duck!" The captain said, "Oh, what the hell! We've but one choice, you know damned well. Data, you know where to go. Come back here with Ensign Toe!" Not Ensign Toe!...but they all knew That only he could pull them through For only he could save the day But, what a bitter price to pay! Data returned with Ensign Toe Who said, "Hey, Worfie! What you know? When gals see me without a thing on They swear that I must be part Klingon!" "Ensign Toerag!", jean-Luc screamed out. "For once, stop being such a lout! There's a chance we will not make it home. We need you to recite a poem!" "But", Toe replied, "you once told me You'd shoot if I read poetry! That, if I didn't shut my face, You'd transport me to hyper-space." "Forget that now", Jean-Luc replied. "We're glad to have you on OUR side. Just step up to that microphone And favor us with some, er, poem." So Toe let go at fever pace. His words were carried into space. The alien ships began to crack Under Toe's ungodly word attack. With every stanza from Toerag The aliens waved a huge white flag And, as his poem kept going on, They turned their ships and they were gone. Toe's words continued through the void, Turned planets into asteroids, Extinguished suns caught in the fray And even curdled the Milky Way. "What have we done?", the captain said. "This part of space is now all dead. Quick, Data, get us out of here And don't look back. Just get us clear." And, as they sped out, undeterred, Jean-Luc was very sure he heard A heavenly voice shout in a roar, "What noise!! St. Peter! Close the door!!" |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Balladeer, This is so funny. I have to admit I lost it here: quote: ... and you kept me laughing from then on. Thank Doc and Deer. A |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Balladeer, Whoo hoo! Ain't we got fun? Doc |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
oops double post |
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