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A Beautiful Disaster
Member

since 2007-01-13

Posts 409

0 posted 2010-06-16 06:18 AM

Your husband, unfaithful, and five stupid kids
Do grow the seeds of despair;
You water them amply, chain-eating with greed
Cheap sweets. Listen, quit it. Stare.

Your husband detests you. Accept it is true.
He needs ironed suits and your dinner.
However, he had kind of feelings for you
When you were much younger and thinner.

All hope is gone,
You try to flee,
You're dreaming of the deep blue sea,
Remembering your honeymoon.
But hope is gone.
You'll wake up soon.

Your children are craving for stale breakfast pies,
Which wasted a couple nice hours.
Your husband can't hope with his hair and tie,
Your morning is fully devoured.

Brazilian tragedies on the blue screen
Appear your only salvation.
Most couples discover the same boring scene,
Routine is the pain of the nation.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

1 posted 2010-06-16 09:31 AM

This is pretty much descriptive despair.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2010-06-16 10:50 AM

I don't believe children are ever stupid

and change can be set into motion

any second could be the one that changes the rest of life.

thought-provoking write that made me a bit upset, to see such despair

Amaryllis
Senior Member

since 2010-05-20

Posts 1306
Mi now

3 posted 2010-06-16 01:07 PM

I think it`s important that poets and poetry embrace all conditions.. maybe not exclusively, yet the ability to look through the eyes of another human being is an indispensible tool for the writer. Assuming that naturally this is not the case 100% of the time, this poem still encapsulates despair, nihlism, pessimism and cynicism.. in a wry, sarcastic overtone. In this way it is well-done; hitting it`s intended mark.
.
I do surely hope it is not autobiographical, though..anyone this despairing needs to look up; nothing is ever absolute, and you could write a poem about this same family of people that highlights all their myriad gifts, values, virtues, and blessings, which also exist in reality.
.
It`s all in how you decide to look at it.
.
Love, and peace to you...
~Amaryllis

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