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Open Poetry #46
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Broken Thoughts and Shattered Dreams
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Broken Thoughts and Shattered Dreams |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
Broken thoughts and shattered dreams what once was thought was never seen. a life, a lie, gone just then, no, life was easy way back when. Severed ropes and tied-up thread, what now is thought is never said, we ache, we cry, in disbelief, I never thought you'd be a thief. Cracking ice and ripped up plaid, You took us all for what we had. your pain, our hurt, when it was through, I'll always know that I knew you. bleeding tears, a loaded gun your life - a war, could not be won. It's much too late, but must suffice. you need to know we loved your life. |
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| © Copyright 2010 Riley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Oh, so heart-rending.. though so sad, it`s the final line that turns this into a eulogy.. wonderful ~Amaryllis |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Rileigh, You have grown so much as a poet since I first started reading your poetry. I have always appreciated your message, but this one is incredible. Great job. May I save it? Keep on posting - I really admire your abilities. xoxoxo Alison |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
Amaryllis~Thanks for the reply; I didn't really intend it to be a eulogy, but I guess it is. Alison, Thanks. It's sometimes frustrating though, the fact that I can only convey a little of what I feel. You can definitely save it. I need to say thank you for being there for me overall; it means more than you'll ever know. [This message has been edited by crosscountry83 (06-14-2010 02:18 PM).] |
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SlowlyFallAway Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279North Carolina |
This was awesome!! I really liked the way rhyme scheme as well!! |
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
The flow is amazing. For one to lose ones life against- life, is truly heart breaking. Well written. -Trina. |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Gut-wrenching. Gritty. Tell-it-like-it-is kinda poetry that I very much like. Not a whine in the lines. Not a do-gooder to be seen. Just life. Betrayal. Love. Death. Magnificent! . . . and the Raven said, %!~#&(&#!$! |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
I've read a few sad poems tonight but this one has really got to me. That means it's a very good poem so well done! Helen |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
I appreciate the comments <3 And thanks for bumping this after quite a few months. |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Amazing how what we do not see or choose to hear lies painful and forever ghostly in a tear. Stirring and stinging, and very well written! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Death touches the reality of love, like nothing else. Well done! |
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mikeandrew Member
since 2010-11-18
Posts 198 |
very nice flow smooth. |
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bigthinker8 Junior Member
since 2010-11-22
Posts 19Chicago Il |
I've recently experienced the same, sadly. I never thought you'd be a thieve. Your life - a war could not be won. I "know" these lines. Thank you |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Rileigh, this is straight to the heart. Been there, I can say too. Fine writing. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Rileigh, So much power in this poem. I am so glad that I read it again. xoxoxo Alison |
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