Old Toerag went off to Iraq to help us win the war.
The colonel said, "Good grief! A Toerag! What are you here for?"
Toerag said, "I'm here to serve! Look at my family tree.
Toerags fought from Bunker Hill to shores of Normandy."

"My gramps was in the calvary. Just put me on a horse
And I'll show you how fast I get this battle to change course!"
So they mounted Toerag on a steed, the best one that they had
But, instead of turning things around, it turned out pretty bad.




"Er, I meant I'm a pilot, sir!! Just let me have a plane!
I'll loop-the loop and belly roll and drive towel-heads insane!"
So they let Toe have his fighter jet and got out of his way.
They laughed so hard their bellies ached (and still do to this day!)




"My ancestors were marksmen", Toerag grandly said to all.
"They taught Wild Bill and Annie how to shoot the silver ball!"
So they let him have a rifle and wouldn't you just know?
The only thing a Toerag shoots off is a Toerag's toe!




"No, I meant I'm a gunner! Just let me sit back in the tail
And you will see I'll keep the boys protected without fail."
And it was true, with Toerag there, there was not one attack.
The colonel could peddle everywhere with Toerag at his back!




But Toerag said, "I;m flustered. I'm the greatest man on earth
And folks here just don't recognize the value of my worth.
You boys can handle this small war. I'm headed outta here.
I'm headed back to Florida and myfriend Balladeer!!!"