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Open Poetry #46

Our coming and going

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

0 posted 2010-05-21 09:31 PM

Some of the ones I know
leave and always come
back. Tired, restless,
with orange smiles
or soft gator tears.
Holding me like I was
still but a child,
seeking warmth and
a bundle of
candy.
Few of them that I met
leave and come back every
few months. Sharing the
wisdom that was attached
to them from the
places they have been.
Which has become their
quote, their teacher,
their lifestyle
our stories.
Most of the ones I knew
leave and
never return.
they left with the
clothes on their
back.
A song in their step,
and bells that
ring in your ears,
that I never have
been accustom to
while being young.
Those bells of theirs
made us weep as
they head
on to their
finally
journey.

Bastet
Member

since 2010-05-07

Posts 246

1 posted 2010-05-22 01:42 AM

A fascinating and poignant poem. Are these a group of friends or relatives? I particularly like "a song in their step" and the bell metaphors. A poem with a lot of mystery and appeal.

whisperingwalt
Member

since 2010-04-29

Posts 240
Coquitlam, BC, Canada

2 posted 2010-05-22 03:21 AM

I liked it...it really painted a picture of the emotion...sad ending...nice job.ww

ken206573
Member

since 2008-10-14

Posts 487

3 posted 2010-05-23 12:05 PM

Bastet- I'm glad you like it. It's for my family and friends that I saw, knew, and the one's I never saw at all.

Whishpering Walt- thanks for your comment, I'm glad you liked it.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2010-05-23 10:31 PM

Fine writing...James

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