Open Poetry #46 |
a white slab's epitaph |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
No. You do not understand. Now take your hand from off my head. Don't pat me, patronizingly. Do not dismiss me, with "I see..." Nodding your agreement as if we are sympatico-- like a blind man I can see with my ears. I hear echoes. "Forgive her, for she's limited" I hear your finger tap your head. Daft and damaged with a shrug a pity she's not what she was. * * * How fortunate for you, I'm not. How convenient for you, that I am tied in tendon rags with broken arms behind my back waterboard me and I gag as any human being shall-- I guess I lost you at "human" so I shall abdicate the race and take a white slab's epitaph made poignant by the lack of space in the potter's field. |
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© Copyright 2010 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Serenity blaze, Potter's field is always very crowded. You'll find many nice people there. Love Bobby |
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Bastet Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246 |
I find the structure of this poem fascinating. Could it be a modern version of dramatic monologue? In any case it is dramatic and very poignant. Bravo! |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
No one wants to be patronized or dismissed but to abdicate the race! The metaphors that you employ of being waterboarded and gagged leave the reader with a feeling that they too have been abused and dominated. A haunting piece. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I just finally got over the way you dispose of folks down there, and I know that this poem is going to bring me back to that place. Well done Mz. K, and heaven help those that did ever try to pat you on the head. You would never believe how I "saw" this. We shall talk |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I can relate to this. Mesmerizing. Ida |
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