»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #46
»
Noonday Beat (a song)
| Open Poetry #46 |
|
Noonday Beat (a song) |
|
|
threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy 
|
On a noonday beat on glittering streets acid flows thru gutters like yellow rust A paperboy drops his black white treats for what the kingdom deserves in trust. Goldilocks on a curb commanding respect Her sweet eyes focused upon the dust She knows people's minds are suspect coupled between disbelief and disgust. A half dozen men staggering liquored up Left out of life like a damaged stone bust Gallery of strangers sipping the same cup a nektar of love loves propelled by a gust. A trucker without any paint on his truck just one step ahead of succumbing to lust makes his own waking and his own luck in a package of life all bound and trussed Talking about midnight in the shadow of a moon Shining in street daylight midday of another noon. The pumpkins lay crushed on the vine missions left unfinished and unconfessed across the wires of small town tele lines sorted things just a step short of distressed. Lovers wait for the eventual love letter dragging strength to make it all better What sprouts bravely within the weeds shall give back even more than seeds. Talking to midnight in the shadow of a moon Glitters in street daylight to the prophets of noon on a small town street in the Noonday Beat. |
||
| © Copyright 2010 Jeff Feezle - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Some really great lines here and I can hear the song. Very nice. Love, Margherita |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
threadbear - if it sounds as good as it reads this should be a winner. Great words... BC |
||
|
Bastet Member
since 2010-05-07
Posts 246 |
I don't have a good ear for music but I love the rhythm of this. I like the two verses of chorus. The line "midaay of another noon" is particulary evocative. I also like "left out of life....." Not sure about the reference to Goldilocks. Who is she in the poem? Good work. |
||
|
threadbear Senior Member
since 2008-07-10
Posts 817Indy |
Lovely Margharita, thank you for letting me serenade you. Hi, Bill! Good to hear from you, fine sir! If i remember right you were or are a guitar player. I tried to write some lyrics that weren't just banal. Hope i succeeded. Thank you, Bill, and Bastet, I am much appreciative of all your time, reading and reviewing with such honorable words. Goldilocks is that type of girl that makes you turn your head, when you're driving: as she sits anywhere, doing nothing, but for some reason you couldn't resist looking at her anyway. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
