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Open Poetry #46
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Teardrops of Love --- A Shape Poem
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Teardrops of Love --- A Shape Poem |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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Teardrops of Love As these hues of rain dance ever so softly from passion place releasing in free-form Venus spills in vibrant bliss streams cascade like waterfalls moistened pearls drip glisten pools you write poetic soul within my eyes of diamond glints in dewdrops drench the laughter of kiss wades deep water my mouth limbs kneel to drink you in you touch my lips with smile songs the purity of love elucidates love slow tears flutter refreshing showering my heart with only you By Melissa Long-Monette |
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| © Copyright 2010 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
So absolutely perfect in shape and poetic rendering, dear Melissa! Love, Margherita |
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Zeigeist Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311Michigan |
pretty cool MLM. Z. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
good job! |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
 Sweet!"We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Very pretty my friend. j. |
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Trapped - Nothing Member
since 2010-04-25
Posts 52 |
The poem is wonderful in shape. However, it seems the content is erotic and yearns for sex of some sort. I hate it. Try sticking to describing rain drops its motion and how rain drops fell, where raindrops occur. I think I would enjoy the poem more. Your half way there! |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thank you everyone for your replies!  Trapped-Nothing: Thanks for reading but you've misunderstood my poem, it is NOT meant to be erotic or sexual or uncouth. The title is "Teardrops of Love" which indicates that it's a love poem using the teardrop motif. So I'm not only going to focus on teardrops, I'm focusing on love as well and the emotions and tears it inspires. If you re-read the poem you'll see that I describe the tears of joy that come from love and the power of a kiss. It's only about a kiss and tears of happiness that coincide with it. Truly, I do appreciate your critique, thank you but this is my polished copy and I like it, it's actually an innocent poem that I tried to be creative and clever with LOL |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
lovely work ms honey.. proud of your content!! |
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Lamar Cole Member
since 2009-05-01
Posts 274 |
Very enchanting. |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
This is just perfect in every way. I was missing seeing Marge's shape poems, and now you have done a beautiful one that is for sure. |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Dear Melissa that is a beautiful poem, very well written, thanks for sharing. Lindsay |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Very well done, beautiful, Mellissa. I think poets who actually produce work of their own are the experts when it comes to (constructive)criticism. Ida |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Well versed and wonderfully described. Wonderful work. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
How lovely this shape poem is Melissa. Hugs~Nancy Life isn't about how to survive the storm... |
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Earl Brinkman Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183Osaka, Japan |
I found this quite clever. Thanks for sharing it with us. |
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Misty Lilacs Senior Member
since 2005-11-15
Posts 1060White Birch Forest |
I am so envious of ou! I can't do shapes to save my soul. Marge Tindal tried so hard to teach me and nope, it didn't wrk! This is so great! Loved it! ooxx Marti |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thank you so much everyone for your wonderful replies! I love writing about love....even if this poem is somewhat corny and not one of my best, I enjoyed the challenge of trying to work a shape poem. Marge also taught me many years ago and I used to love her shape poems and challenges to other poets here. I miss her and since I didn't post at pip for a few years, and I only found out recently that she passed away, it was a shocker. [This message has been edited by Honeybee (04-28-2010 10:56 PM).] |
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