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A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

0 posted 2010-04-21 04:45 AM

Cool night breeze blows softly,
as the white sheer curtains,
dance in romantic motion,

In a room filled with darkness,
only moonlight glows upon her,
she lays dressed in white gown,

Red long nails, painted,
red lips plump, with lipstick,
deep black eyes closed,
for tonight he comes,

Windows are open wide,
the moon shadows his form,
as he glides upon her window sill,
into her room he arrives,

She is unaware of his presence,
slowly he leans over her,
her white neck of vanilla,
draws him like candy,

Deeply he plunges his teeth,
she awakes, for his eternal kiss,
instantly she becomes the bride,
eternal darkness of night,

Moon is fading, brighter,
the sky becomes, so off,
he flys to his domain,
until he comes to her again.

Will my words stick like glue to your heart? it is the paste that keeps us together~

[This message has been edited by A Romantic Heart (04-21-2010 05:22 AM).]

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

1 posted 2010-04-21 09:09 AM

Beautiful with a touch a romanticism ~ You're perfect poetic touch.

ARCTIC WIND

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2010-04-22 06:39 PM

Nice romantic writing...James

Trapped - Nothing
Member

since 2010-04-25

Posts 52

3 posted 2010-04-26 10:57 AM

She is unaware of his presence,
slowly he leans over her,
her white neck of vanilla,
draws him like candy,
Her neck of vanilla, wonderful line.
This poem is missing intrigue. When you write about vampires, the time period is mystical, dramatic, alluring, this poem doesn't capture that essence and mysticism of vampires.

this poem is of domestic vampires.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2010-04-30 12:19 PM

M, I would like to see you without so much makeup on. I bet you are beautiful that way

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

5 posted 2010-05-03 01:52 PM

Trapped~ I believe my critique button is marked NO...rules means when marked NO I accept no critiques!

English translation~If I want your advice I will ask for it...

Thank YOU!!!

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

6 posted 2010-05-03 01:57 PM

Beautiful, yes I have been told that alot, inside and out, and most like me with just a hint of makeup....do I allow it to go to my head, no, I want others to notice my heart....

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