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Open Poetry #46
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Owning Me
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Owning Me |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Owning Me This poem [gone prose] is in its fourth, fifth, sixth mental revision; I hadn’t even touched a key… they say, “write, write, plan a time, write, write…” I cringe. Melancholia is a lovely word until it applies to you; harbored deep among snowdrifts, time wound its way into its own wound… it knew when to wash away. ~*~ What is the exact period of mourning For the unwanted? The overly-educated? The elderly who are still viable? For decades we pay into a security in case our positions run dry or wars wage or governments fold… for the rainy days…we pay in… only to find out what was to be paid out only lasts until the skinny lady sings and it’s never us. Great diet. ~*~ Meet Poe & Twain Brother Shih Tzus Owning me ~*~ Poe & Twain are markedly dissimilar in stature; challenging their world, acting like Rottweilers if someone crosses my path; but let a little one nearby come forward for pet control, and they are puppy love all over. ~*~ My heart sang a love song only a moment ago… the robins snatched it up. ~*~ Spring is breaking all free from the ice and hockey pucks of winter… I smile. ~*~ Those complainers of spring's aspiring allergies? Take a pill. I will…just so, and I will take in another that I might breathe in the scent of God’s gifts. ©KRJ Tax Day 2010 " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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| © Copyright 2010 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Sunshine, I like this poem a lot. Taking in another is always a good idea. Love Bobby |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Sunshine ~ Hi! I enjoyed this mind travel. It sounds like some of mine. Perhaps we are shedding. Hugs to you. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
very nicely done, my friend... j. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
"Spring is breaking all free from the ice and hockey pucks of winter… I smile." I smile back at you, Sissie.  |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
talk a stream of consciousness - lol - nicely tackled, Karilea |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
I was captured by it all, but this was my favorite part: "Melancholia is a lovely word until it applies to you; harbored deep among snowdrifts, time wound its way into its own wound… it knew when to wash away." That first line of this stanza is so powerful, and I love how you played with words in the rest of it...extremely nicely done. |
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Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Many thoughts which i can relate to about the spring, such a lovely time of the year... "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms sun..I always see you as spring and summer...lovely work ms |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
This is why I read poetry. There's nothing more to say. |
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Spiros Zafiris Senior Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 982Canada |
..thanks Sunshine.. ..always quite rewarding experiencing your poetic voice.. ..spiros ----------- |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
what I take away Karilea is this: "My heart sang a love song only a moment ago… the robins snatched it up." I long to own it... |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
"Melancholia is a lovely word until it applies to you; harbored deep among snowdrifts, time wound it's way into it's own wound... It knew when to wash away." Wish I had written this. Ida |
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Trapped - Nothing Member
since 2010-04-25
Posts 52 |
I'm no poetry expert. Let me give a lay person's opinion. I think this poem was uninteresting. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
oh my! Trapped-Nothing you seriously need to stop insulting the majority of the talented poets and their poems here at piptalk! This fabulous poem is not uninteresting, it's very interesting and well expressed in a talented, creative manner. Sunshine is one of the best poets here at piptalk, please show respect! |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
A very interesting write dear Karilea it made me think and ponder over its message. All the best my dear. Lindsay |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Like flashes of thoughts tip-toeing across your mind. You just keep getting better and better.  Life isn't about how to survive the storm... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Bobby, that couldn't be truer. Thank you for peeking. Kahlil...I wouldn't shed with any other...that's a perfect description of this piece. Thank you, James. Martie-Sis...I liked the hockey pucks too.  You know me too well!LJA...you don't know how good it is to have your eyes again. Steven...your my best critic. Prasad...all we have, are relations...and relating. DS...from your thoughts, to God's ear... Alwye...and this is why I read YOU. Spiros, thank you, m'friend. Kate...borrow that line, dear...it is meant to be shared. Much like what birds leave behind...empty nests, and all of that...it's all meant to be shared. Ida...you have, in your own way, written that very thing. That's probably what inspired me. TN - Thank you. Welcome to Passions! Melly...hugging you. Everyone has an opinion. Quite like what they sit upon...everyone has one of those, too. Lindsay, ponder on. We only grow from what we know. Smiling. Nancy...love...thank you, sweetheart, for coming in to read. I'm missing your sunrises and sunsets. Hope to see some soon. I need them. |
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