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Open Poetry #46
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Forest Hill
| Open Poetry #46 |
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Forest Hill |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan 
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. This of course Is the one place In town no one comes to Not willingly at least There is a silence Not to be found much less Searched for given a choice Of other things to do You move as if lost In the wrong neighborhood And whatever effort is made To make the best of it Never escapes the element Of charade Still let us walk Without false sentiment Under the somber trees Yet take note that despite it all The sky can be blue With white clouds slowly Drifting above the scene That for all that is gone And never expected To return again Some old birds Will still choose to sing . |
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| © Copyright 2010 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Nicely done! I could feel the tension in the air and the unsureness of being there. The Wordsworth-style ending was perfect. |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
...yes, the ending is where this one was...there will always be some old birds |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Love the ending too, John (as an old bird) Ida |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
I must concur that the ending is indeed particularly fine!: "Still let us walk Without false sentiment Under the somber trees Yet take note that despite it all The sky can be blue With white clouds slowly Drifting above the scene That for all that is gone And never expected To return again Some old birds Will still choose to sing" applause for this 'penning' ! |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
There is much to like and respect in this piece. I bow to you and yours. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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