Open Poetry #47 |
She |
graying1 Member
since 2011-02-09
Posts 53The Commonwealth of VA |
She walks gracefully, Gliding on stiletto heels, So seductively. (this is suppose to be a haiku hope I got it right.) |
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© Copyright 2011 Peter Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Actually it is a senryu, and you got it perfectly. The picture you painted with your words will be with me the rest of the day. ~ Some people are like a Slinky -- not really good for anything -- but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. ~ |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Good one! And because you wrote it in red I'll bet all the guys are seeing her in a red dress too. The only reason it isn't called a haiku is because your poem didn't deal with nature. That is the only difference between the two. Lori |
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graying1 Member
since 2011-02-09
Posts 53The Commonwealth of VA |
Thanks for the correction, I'll try to get one of those right good to know it's some form since I'm not up on those things. as for the color I really didn't think of the type as making a difference. She usually wears black dresses Peter |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Gotta hand it to her if she can walk in stilettos, bonus points for seductively. |
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faithmairee Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441Poe Haven, USA |
Nice one, Peter...i enjoyed it! There must be a poem in here somewhere. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very nice! nicely done! |
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