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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California

0 posted 2012-01-18 11:27 PM



Existing


There's a thin line one cannot see
Between living and existing.
With all this world has done to me,
I'm finally done resisting.
I walk in shadow, live alone,
And only speak when spoken to...
The sounds of life a senseless drone
I'm just too damned tired to wade through.

Still, daily, I rise to keep pace,
In my sick and silent ritual.
Pinning fake smiles on this face,
Almost becoming habitual.
Ne'er taking time to count the roses
Lost to a younger man's portrait -
Orshifts in eyes betraying the poses
Of life eternally forfeit.

The jezebels yet sing for me,
And I would yet applaud them.
Were it not for the propensity
Others have to maraud them.
But it's those subtle things you ignore
That often prove most drastic -
The daughters of Greed, "More" and "More!"
Feeding on a world that's plastic.

With the hallowed words of a man long dead
Still rattling around in your skull!
If you can't let go one thing he said,
Tell me who here is in control?
As you might feel, by visions drawn,
The world's what you make of it...
In your soulless dream, lingering on,
I just pray you don't wake from it.


Michael Anderson

1/18/2012

I strike! It quivers in that heart
Which drives me to this end;
I draw and kiss the bloody dart,
My last-my only friend!

~Abraham Lincoln

© Copyright 2012 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved
bel1e
Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631

1 posted 2012-01-19 05:38 AM


ah....emotive and extremely well written, dear Michael! In many ways I can relate with your protagonist....in the words a very wise scarecrow..."life's more painless for the brainless"...and if you don't feel...that numbness can be armor and can propel you through the day...without having to feel too much...the waking from that....of course can be a little jarring...LOL...great poem, man~

~write-on~
~XOXO

             

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
2 posted 2012-01-19 06:30 AM


It's not easy; I know a lot of times I convince myself that existing is necessary for survival.  Living is so messy and distracting.  (I say that with a soft smile)  It is difficult to break out of that and really breathe.  I really like how this turned out...very nicely done.
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
3 posted 2012-01-19 06:47 AM


Eh, for whatever it is, if you are breathing, walking and talking you are existing. Some exists brashly and some fun-loving and some, like this poem existing although they wonder if it is even worth getting up each morning and putting on whatever face they think is necessary. That was me most of my life. Happy to say it isn't anymore, but I always am aware it could return. Scary to think that, but . . .

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways ~*~

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2012-01-19 08:25 AM


I love this... even though (or because *S*) I know the first 2 verses all too well. *S* You've taken the too tired to go on, wearing fake smile, muddling through and given it voice in a wonderful poem... when most who are familiar with the feelings can't begin to find the words and settle for one... "hopeless". *S* Wishing you hope, my friend, and a step across that line into living... may existing become exulting. *S* (((hugs)))
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
5 posted 2012-01-19 12:59 PM


Yes we must tread this path and dwell in
our mortal flesh, maybe unhappy, maybe lazily
existing in a habit like trance smiling
and frowning.  But, our paradise awaits until its proper time,
then this “Existing” will be behind.
Then, brother, “Nevermore”


JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
6 posted 2012-01-19 01:09 PM


Dear Michael, I think that dark places like the ones you describe here so masterfully do not exist to make us fall into and to remain in the abyss, but to encourage us to climb out of it and to become aware of how precious a gift life is. Living and not merely existing, means to strive to love each other and to make life not only bearable, but enjoyable.

You are beautifully sensitive. What we all have to learn is to detach from too strong emotional involvement, when all seems black around us. When we look and look again, we shall always be able to see a spark that shows the way back into the light.

I just let my heart speak you know (don't want to seem preachy!).

Hugs.
Margherita

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
7 posted 2012-01-19 05:21 PM


Bel1e, yeah, the waking is never pretty.  I find myself drawing that anemic shell around myself tighter and tighter these days... just trying to take 'em one at a time.  Thank you for the in depth reply... It's nice to feel "understood."

Nicole, that's just it... Living is hard.  It's easy to give up, too easy in fact... And once you're merely "existing," it's damn hard to get back to the other side.  Mayhap I can meet you there someday.  

JP, you give me hope that perhaps, one day, I can return to the land of the living... for now, I'll just keep trudging forward slowly.

Ruth, the day I stop hoping is the day I stop "existing" period.  It's not always hope that pushes the pen, but sometimes you gotta move a little of this garbage out of the way to get to it.  

JL, I will try to be patient.     Are we ther yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Lol  thank you, my friend.

Margherita, i keep my eyes on the light, and my feet moving forward; my writing just helps me release some of the darkness that assails me along the way.     your replies aren't preachy... I know they are heartfelt, and I hope you know that they are truly appreciated on my end.

Thank you all,

Michael

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