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Open Poetry #47
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The Hollow
| Open Poetry #47 |
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The Hollow |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida 
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there is an ache; here a subjugation and i did not know that it would be like this, some slow slide through the lipstick smears. time heals everything, but what of the hollow stone the cold dust trails; an adytum, a cathedral an empty, wretched place. and there is me, and the incessant clambering a clumsiness reserved for the mataphorical tragedies. a bleating sheep the salt water foams at my feet, and all that is left are the sharp notes in my wake |
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| © Copyright 2011 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Hey! Yea! I used "adytum" in something I write recently, glad to see the word is still out there and being used, it's such a groovy (groovy?) word. Loved the poem. We do like to beat up on ourselves in our autobiographical(?) poetry don't we. I don't so much anymore since I have found love. Really liked this . . . "some slow slide through the lipstick smears. time heals everything, but what of" ~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~ |
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bel1e Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631 |
oh my...it IS a groovy word...as is the poem, Nicole....much enjoyed~*~ |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Nicole: Oh if sadness could bleed this would be in red. If tragedy could sing this would be tambourines bass drums and saxophones. “The Hollow” reminds me of a funeral I witnessed on the streets of New Orleans when I was younger. This has the same emotional effect, not to say that is what you intended, but as I was reading the memories came back. Really enjoy the way you can display poetry. This was gripping. Sorry to relate it to a funeral. JL  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
haha Jerry... I thought you might see that. Groovy, indeed. You got it stuck in the grey matter. I am a classic masochist w/ the autobiographical poetry, yes. Thank you for being there for my musings.Belle - Right? Thank youJL - It's okay to compare it to a funeral; what you touched on is what I often write with...emotions. I'm not very good at storytelling, so I just go for the gut. It's always cathartic in some way. Thank you for sharing that emotion with me. Your reply is musical and I do so appreciate it. |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
There is a whispering mantra being uttered between the words and deep beneath the written line here, the whisper undoubtedly says love, but it is said almost in reverence and placed upon a sunlit socle.... enjoyed the metaphor and devoted beauty of this poem...thank you for sharing.... Friendship is Love without his wings. Lord Byron. |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Goldenrose - I am so pleased that you heard that, in this. Something placed on a sunlit socle, indeed. Thank you |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Ms Nicole...lipstick sounds as the mouth opens to whisper here...enjoyed your whet pen |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Really enjoyed your write, my friend...and the comments almost as much... j. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Metaphorical tragedies can be just that… tragic. I do not suggest reserving them ahead of time. I’ve read this twice and have pictured the hollow stone as an altar, and as your heart, and neither perception may be right but both leave a fantastic image in my mind. Your clamoring is beautiful. Michael |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
D - Thank you sir, my pleasure j - Aren't they lovely? As is yours, thank you Michael - I do that, don't I? /smile After all of these years, I dare say you know me well enough to know the accuracy of your perception of what I write. Thank you, hon |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Oops, missed this one. Glad I found it. Ida |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
A deeply intense, personal poem, An autobiography of sorts, with sounds of inner thoughts Brought to the surface of a hollow, ridged with words. Within the adytum, she can only freely speak,and not so in public. Where she bleats like a sheep, and yet she is no follower, Rising from the depths like Venus She rises on songs, sung on the edges of the hollow. |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Ida, you are a dear. (hugs)ice, very...very intuitive. your replies are so lovely... |
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