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Open Poetry #47
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The Messenger
| Open Poetry #47 |
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The Messenger |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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dying leaves of mid-October showered the car as I pulled to a stop the building was shabby tin roof dented, pocked and mossy laundry hung on sagging lines naked and half-naked children played in the dirt clouds were translucent and filmy not a hint of moisture been that way for two months American flag whipped and snapped like a locker room towel on a pole in the dirt brown yard a figure watched me through a grimy window as a man appeared on the porch wearing overalls, one strap hanging loose barrel of a man body covered with course, curly hair bald on top the children stopped playing scattered he came off the porch wearing a maddog face I stepped out of the vehicle holding some papers in my hand the scream came from the figure in the window she wouldn't care that the papers I had were for valor in Afghanistan for a son who breathed his last breath two weeks ago ©October 12, 2011 / Jerry Pat Bolton ~*~ Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are.--Houssaye ~*~ |
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| © Copyright 2011 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Wow, Jerry, the overall gloomy atmosphere that you conveyed here was like a downhill race into that scream of shock and despair, a scream only a mother can emit. Extremely well written and extremely heartwrenching too. No the valor medal will not heal the wound. M |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Good, your comments convinced me that I created the right mood for the poem. I was a little worried about that. Thank you Margherita. ~*~ Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are.--Houssaye ~*~ |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
JP2...Thanks for sharing. A sad part of life no parent wants too face and have to go thru. You painted a very vivid picture with your words.That is the mark of a good poem...Paul |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Jerry, you have out done yourself here. You set it up so that the ending comes to us as a shock as well. Well done! Lori |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you, Paul, for commenting so nicely about "The Messenger," it is appreciated. Lori, good morning and thank you. ~*~ Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are.--Houssaye ~*~ |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Oh man this hurts. JL  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Waves of pain emanate from the screen... and the hurt is all the greater for knowing how many similar scenes are happening each day. Fantastic write! |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you JL. It was supposed to hurt. suthern, I just got back from the store and when I walked in I hear this man talking to a woman and he said he had just gotten back from Iraq two weeks ago. I waited until he was through talking to her and stopped him as he went by and told him I'd head what he said and I wanted to shake his hand and thank him. He looked stunned for a moment and then a huge smile covered his face. Thank you for your kind words. ~*~ Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are.--Houssaye ~*~ |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
This one has me near speechless, JP. Extremely poignant in many regards... Well done. Michael |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Appreciate it, Michael, I'm glad it made an impression. ~*~ Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are.--Houssaye ~*~ |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Powerful write, Jerry. Ida |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you, Ida. ~*~ Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are.--Houssaye ~*~ |
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