Rain (revised Oct. 2011) - pipTalk Forums

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jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

0 posted 2011-10-12 10:19 AM

Rain

Rain.
God-forsaken, bleak, bleary, rain,
befogging the air
as thoughts of you
befog my mind.
Harder it comes,
wind-driven, thick, viscous drops,
splattering against my face,
stinging me with their insolent,
uncaring, selfish manner,
much as you,
in your self-contained,
self-preserving,
self-centered world, denies
all but what is an achievement for self;
denies me,
after my being fulfilled your need;
denies that which I freely gave,
driving it pain-riddled
into the depths of my soul.

Rain.
God-forsaken,
bleak, bleary rain -

falling,
from my eyes.

© wesley james beard, jr.
rev. october 2011

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

1 posted 2011-10-12 11:38 AM

Oh man, can a heart have a hamstring pull? This hurts like it.
Sad, but nice one, my friend.

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2011-10-12 11:43 AM

Battling the wrongs is a constant. You wrote a powerful poem here that dealt with wrong very effectively. Wrongs can stay with us for a lifetime.

~*~ Tell me whom you love, and I will tell you who you are.--Houssaye ~*~

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2011-10-12 01:40 PM

Even after months of drought, this is the kind of rain no one wants. Well written ache, my friend!

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2011-10-13 03:52 AM

This kind of rain is foreign to me (loving the rain as I do) ... I thought ... but not the tears!

Very intensely rendered pain, dear Jimmy!

M

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

5 posted 2011-10-13 02:00 PM

The hardest rain of all... I truly empathise with you on this one. It's hard when you do all you can for someone else, and to have that "all" so greedily accepted, only to have a cold, void emptiness returned for the favor.

You capture this well. I wish I had words of solace, but alas, I doubt they would be a suitable umbrella.

I enjoyed the read, even so.
Michael

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

6 posted 2011-10-13 07:46 PM

Michael, Not about me, my friend...thanks anyway.

j.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

7 posted 2011-10-14 01:52 AM

Intense, Jimmy. Will read agian.
Ida

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

8 posted 2011-10-14 11:34 AM

Awww this is good and dark. I feel the clouds hovering and the rain bursting from the clouds finding it's way through a thousand tears.

Really nice writing, jwesley~

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

9 posted 2011-10-14 02:48 PM

those raintears make life much more focused though doesn't it..

loved the ending my friend.

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