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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2011-09-29 12:14 PM

The Last Dance

he says he wants to dance with me
across a night of midnight stars
but I haven’t danced for years
trapped between these parallel bars
and says for me to take a chance
let steps brush the dust of my shoes
for trust can be a lyrical duet
and again he’ll be my muse
…this is how you do it
it all starts out quite slow
place your hand within my hand
it’s where the passion flows
yet, I am so extraordinarily ordinary
he doesn’t clearly understand
I walk around on two left feet
and even trip upon the sand
I am use to being, the flower
that melts right into the wall
but when he whispers to me     believe
I clearly hear his call
in regret of not what I’ve done
but what I didn’t do
too much time has passed me by
these blue petals need a different hue
this could be the last dance
before,  I sat them out in wait
my feet can finally touch the floor
as you waltz me      to fate

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2011-09-29 01:05 PM

Yes, he most certainly can waltz you to your fate, my friend. I really liked this, which isn't surprising, I've come to like whatever you give us to read. Your way with expressions and premises of your poems -- this one no exception -- is usually an eye-opening experience. Write on.

~~ Those who are silent are the first to be shot. ~~

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

2 posted 2011-09-29 02:32 PM

I hope it's the last merely because of how long it lasts. Beautifully done.

Michael

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

3 posted 2011-09-29 03:50 PM

Helen, you trip on the sand with as much grace as you write!

Owl

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2011-09-29 08:53 PM

So nice, I think as we get older we realize we may not get another chance.

You go girl!!

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

5 posted 2011-09-30 07:25 AM

Oh Helen are you kidding, the last dance?

Every time you write your heart dances around with mine, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but always just right, and on they will dance long after we have left this blue floor...

Wonderful you.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2011-09-30 11:28 PM

I am use to being, the flower
that melts right into the wall
but when he whispers to me believe
I clearly hear his call
in regret of not what I’ve done
but what I didn’t do
too much time has passed me by
these blue petals need a different hue

"Dance like there's nobody watching"... and may the music never end. *S* This is just gorgeous!!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

7 posted 2011-10-01 08:23 AM

Oh yeah!

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

8 posted 2011-10-02 09:43 AM

I thought I replied to this - I KNOW I had it open to do that quite some time ago. I love this; and I can SO relate. I'm always the quiet wall-flower. I love the hope and optimism in this...

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

9 posted 2011-10-02 09:48 AM

Helen, I think this is a favorite now from you...so easy to relate to.

M

Anoo
Member

since 2011-01-23

Posts 55
UK

10 posted 2011-10-02 09:53 AM

Absolutely poetic. The beginning is romantic and it keeps flowing till the end.
Anoo

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

11 posted 2011-10-02 03:05 PM

Quiet wall flower, me, enjoyed your poem verry much.
ms. e

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

12 posted 2011-10-03 09:09 PM

Hah! You a wallflower. I think not. However, this was done with the precision of a surgeon.

I agree, we all should dance like no one is watching, I know I sure do! ((*^)) Can not wait to hear about the Mother/Son dance though.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

13 posted 2011-10-04 07:54 PM

"I am so extraordinarily ordinary
he doesn’t clearly understand
I walk around on two left feet"

Quaint- charming, and very sweet.
I could easily picture the scene.

Enjoyed.
JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

14 posted 2011-10-06 01:46 AM

Again, you lead me off somewhere . . .
/pip/Forum111/HTML/003654.html

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