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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2011-01-21 03:31 PM

Lay Open the Envelope

one thing as one shan't e'er do
to see flesh only as fair beauty
open this the envelope of me
experience more than you could see
'tis all I should ask of you

sagaciously see my orb of gaiety
and fathom some intimate mystery
witness within the lee of me
this envelope that is for thee
and not for all the world to see

in this envelope seek a multitude of things,
as shy erudite wisdom, burning bright
that would for thee as ochroid word shall sing
long and true into the depths of night
see thee what this envelope would bring

that this envelope would envelop thought
of what confidence might be sought
of what indeed this envelope brought
once now that your attention is caught
indeed, 'tis so, t'would it be your lot

to envelop the envelope that carries me
in these words that you in solemn solitary see

01.07.01

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

1 posted 2011-01-21 03:59 PM

beautiful symbolism...a very lovely write...in a word (actually 2) nice imagery

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

2 posted 2011-01-21 04:50 PM

Stunning in its simplicity and marvelous because you incorporated long thought dead poetical words. The standard bearer of this excellent piece of work is the envelope, of course, and envelope you offer, "this envelope that is for thee / and not for all the world to see."

I am quite charmed by this poem.

~ Life is sexually transmitted ~

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

3 posted 2011-01-21 07:30 PM

..another pleasurable poem; calms
and makes one wonder, too..>>spiros

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

4 posted 2011-01-21 08:27 PM

Awww! Beautiful!

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

5 posted 2011-01-21 10:37 PM

WoW!! I am mesmerized. When I need a lesson in writing, I'll open this one and study it line for line
I loved it!!
Liz

The_Doctors_Angel_32
Member

since 2011-01-14

Posts 337
Florida, USA

6 posted 2011-01-21 10:43 PM

Very beautifully written. I loved the last 2 lines.

When the family is together, the soul is at peace - Russian Proverb

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2011-01-22 12:32 PM

Steven, thank you, Sir.

Jerry, I've studied poetry here at PiP for the last 10 years under some of the best poets...thanks to them, you were able to enjoy this.

Spiros, I am all into "calm"...thank you, Sir

Garapan, bless your heart. Thank you.

Lady Santos, that is indeed high praise, lady, as you can see from my response to Jerry above. YOU are one of my mentors.

Julie...if you only take away two lines, then I did my job. Thank you, dear.

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