Platform No.60 - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member

since 2008-05-29

Posts 1149
Bangalore,India

0 posted 2011-07-28 02:45 AM

Platform No.60

Concrete steps suggests a new adventure awaits,
Yelling porter mouths, baggage trolleys constant ram,
Left over lonely platform tickets get crushed beneath,
Passenger’s eyes stretch along the tracks of the tram,

Sound of the giant wheels match the eager heart beats,
Ready hands, hurry legs, rush through crowds fast,
Pushing shoulders find there way to a vacant seat,
Window seat! comfort one finds, proud look eyes cast,

Opening former frost’s pages fingers begins to flick,
Wheels move forward and so does the final goodbye kiss,
Fresh air teases the locks of a new born opposite flower,
Those beautiful eyes caught my empty mind in remiss,

“Is that frost you’re reading? She stirs the silence,
“Yeah, Frost, you are right. Have you read his write?
“Yes, I have and many other similar reads, yes I have”
She went on flowing like a stream of words in the night,

Common interests in few fleeting moments we knew,
Laughs caught few jealous ears, few envious eyes too,
Awkward air surrounds, halting wheels is all I remember,
Hers platform sixty, mine twenty, parting ways in a queue.

©Prasad.N July 27th 2010
All rights reserved to Prasad.N

"The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts"

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

1 posted 2011-07-28 03:06 AM

You captured this "meeting of the minds" beautifully, Prasad.
Ida

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2011-07-28 10:07 AM

Prasad, a delightful read...
a bit of a window delight insight
from the universal tram, as it is.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2011-07-28 11:29 AM

"Hers platform sixty, mine twenty, parting ways in a queue."

Love that last line. Love the fact that a semi-intimate conversation was had for a few brief moments. It has happened to me.

~ Money can't buy happiness, but broke can't buy anything. ~

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

4 posted 2011-07-28 12:40 PM

I felt I was there through every line... you set the scene that perfectly! *S*

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2011-07-28 07:20 PM

"Those beautiful eyes caught my empty mind in remiss,"

some beautiful lines here

M

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member

since 2008-05-29

Posts 1149
Bangalore,India

6 posted 2011-07-28 07:58 PM

Thank you for taking time to comment, Ida. Surely was a meeting of minds, appreciate your kind words.
Thank you for kind words, Sunshine. It’s a delight to read your comments. Appreciate your time.
Thank you for your kind words, Jerry. Wonder why they happen so, anyway even few moments of happiness linger for many ages. Appreciate your words.
Thank you for your kind words, Suthern. This is based on my recent train journey and I am glad you saw the pictures through my words. Appreciate it.
Thank you for taking time to comment, Ms.M. You are very kind to say these words. Appreciate your kindness.
Thank you all for the smiles at the start of another day. You all are very kind.

"The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts"

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

7 posted 2011-07-29 04:16 PM

I love the story. I felt I was on the train watching the story unfold. Well done,
ebonygirl

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

8 posted 2011-07-31 10:47 PM

Fine descriptive writing...James

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

9 posted 2011-07-31 10:49 PM

Man, I was there! Great piece my friend.

j.

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

10 posted 2011-07-31 11:11 PM

I have to say I love a poem or a story that grips my from the beginning and leads me to the end. Where the impression touches me and is lasting. You did this with this piece.

Prasad Nataraj
Senior Member

since 2008-05-29

Posts 1149
Bangalore,India

11 posted 2011-08-01 02:20 AM

Thank you for taking time to read and commenting, Ebonygirl. Appreciate your kind words.
Thank you for your kind words, James. Appreciate it.
Thank you for your kind words, jwesley. Glad to know you were able to see the visuals. Appreciate it.
Thank you for such kind words, Marilyn. Appreciate your time and kind comments.

"The secret behind survival of mankind is kindness and love within our hearts"

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.