Open Poetry #47 |
Warrior Mice |
Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
The Warrior Mice The orange and gold of the dark desert floor did fade with the plummet of the Sun -and the red heat ebbed in the twilight -while the blue stars twinkled in the nightlight. -When the brown sand shifted in the moonlight, Two mice did run, run, run thru a deep, deep gully of an upslant hill over sand in the night sublime. -Their hearts beat faster in the lost light -from impending disaster of a fright night -by the claws of an Owl now in midflight as its wings sliced the air from behind. But as Warrior Mice hunting on the hot desert sand and designed for evasive speeds, -they flickered thru shadows of the night time, -criss-crossed the black road's white line, -confused the Owl's sight line bringing food for their young 'uns needs. And the orange and gold of the bright desert floor were the paints of the dawn's display -as the mice peeked once at the daylight -thru the sweltering heat that was airtight -while the sand grew hot in the sunlight and the Owl waited close of the day. Soon, sunset light poured colors into night dimming day into indigo and black -on the sounds and the silences of evening -near the shadows of the forest life teeming -where the Dusk of the night is asleeping with a dream of the Dawn coming back. Then the orange and gold of the dark desert floor disappeared with the plummet of the Sun -and the red heat ebbed in the twilight -while the blue stars twinkled in the nightlight. -When the brown sand shifted in the moonlight, Two mice did run, run, run. Namyh |
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© Copyright 2011 Namyh - All Rights Reserved | |||
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Oh, dear Namyh, what a stunning poetic tale! Never has the instinct of survival been rendered so intensely and beautifully. I felt for the Warrior Mice, I felt for the Owl, I felt for LIFE. I was the Warrior Mice, I was the Owl, I was the Night and the Day ... LIFE! Another keeper from you. Love, Margherita |
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SlowlyFallAway Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 279North Carolina |
Beautifully written. Loved the rhyme scheme. |
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Word Weaver Member
since 2011-03-06
Posts 437California, USA |
The way poetry should be written. Loud applause for this one. Marcia |
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Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
Margherita – My compliments to you for being Warrior mouse, Owl, Life and also Night and Day; demonstrating your obvious connection to the Force. When writing this in moments of frustration, I could have sworn I heard a voice saying “Use the Force Namyh. You the Force”. If that was you, I want to thank you for your encouragement then and for your inspiration now. Margherita, you’ve brought out a ‘keeper’ for my day and a roar for the mouse in me with your wonderful words. Thanks for enjoying this. Namyh |
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Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
SlowlyFallAway – Sometimes we poets get frustrated and depressed over what to write about next. I had reached that point when the Discovery Channel came on. It showed an owl chasing down two mice and then catching one. My previous inhibitions ‘slowly fell away’ and turned to fascination while watching and this poetic work was a later result. Most fascinating it is from where we poets sometimes get our inspirations. So very glad you found this beautiful and loved the rhyming. Hope it put a bright spot in your day. Namyh |
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Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
Marcia! Marcia! Marcia! – I hope this remains a survival metaphor for the mouse in us to persevere when circumstances are perilous and danger imminent. For the mice, each day death strikes but they live their lives as though they were immortal which is a good philosophy to start any day. We can learn a lot from mice. Thanks for the applause Marcia but more for enjoying and stopping in for a spell. Namyh |
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