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Open Poetry #47

If Only For a Window

Shortysdadd
Junior Member

since 2011-06-26

Posts 39

0 posted 2011-07-08 09:09 PM

Trapped in my head.

I flake the lead paint from the
Filthy walls of my mind.

Eating the hateful chips
without water.

A mad man imprisoned in a toxic loop.

If only my selfish brain had windows.
I could see others and help them.

I would be forever free

of me...

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

1 posted 2011-07-10 02:44 AM

Excellent poem, Shortysdadd. I was going to suggest knocking a hole in that wall and putting in a window - but then I read "Lost Cow" and realised you already have a huge sliding window to step out through.

The heroin addict may hardly have recognised your presence, but, I believe that for a moment, he did and that he understood your compassion. If the poem was fictional, that doesn't change anything because thoughts or the lack of them are the birthplace of actions - and that actions without the heart behind them aren't worth much.

Owl

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

2 posted 2011-07-10 11:42 AM

Love this. I like the way you used the lead paint metaphor and how you tied up the end. Good write.
Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2011-07-10 08:43 PM

I relate.

~ Employ teenagers while they know everything. ~

Shortysdadd
Junior Member

since 2011-06-26

Posts 39

4 posted 2011-07-11 10:40 PM

Thank you all very much.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2011-07-15 06:26 PM

Nice...James

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

6 posted 2011-07-16 01:45 AM

Interesting. Don't eat paint and don't put beans in your ears. They only cloud your senses. Like this poem.

A

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

7 posted 2011-07-16 10:55 AM

To overcome our heavy ego pressures is a daily task, no doubt.

Very powerful ponderings here.

Love,
Margherita

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