Open Poetry #47 |
Forty Three And Forty One |
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
(This picture is the prompt for the poem, which I wrote to answer a poetry challenge) "Forty Three", counting birthdays- Remembering himself thinking At thirty, this is quite enough, Though he brought along the strength of twenty On his forward-journey, count of time. His thirties made the ladies turn their heads As his picture placed a fair impression On every seeking womans eye. He wore jeans back when, now things are different... His daily dress is suit, and tie, no compliment To his dull portal..plain with white-rose curtains That came with the house, and still dressed the door -Typical, for a man still bachelor-never married. * Forty one moved in to his left, a bolder entrance; A new SanFranciscan, migrator- a getter Away from gloomy Seattle, and the acrid smoke Of a failed marriage that still hung over her- Slow in its lifting, slow in revealing ...the fabled, California sun. She came to renew what she felt when young; Still lovely at forty one--divorced, single-picking Up the pieces--mind and body reclaiming Its youngness... though she moved into a house The color of sadness- seeking happy, feeling lost.. Lost, yes, but about to be found. |
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© Copyright 2011 ford hume - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
great story line loved your ending, this was a great read! Lori |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Good novel plot I'm thinking . . . ~ Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock ~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Two lonlies, becoming un{e}... Yep...there's a story here... please considering give evolution to this... "The business of the poet...is to show the sorriness underlying the grandest things and the grandeur underlying the sorriest things." Thomas Hardy |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
How nicely you developed a story behind this picture, dear Ford. These doors inspired you greatly and I agree with Karilea that there could be a follow-up on this. Exquisite. Love, Margherita |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Lori Jerry Sunny Margherita Thank you for the replies..:-) Yup, it seems that it should have a part two, but... But perhaps things didn't turn out as we all hope? But perhaps things did..I sometimes like readers to fill in the blanks.:-) Namaste ice aka ford |
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EmmaRose Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376Midwest |
most compelling, drawing the reader in to the window view. |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
"drawing the reader in to the window view." Hi E.R.,I guess it is a bit voyeuristic. Thanks for the reply. |
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Duck1946 Member
since 2011-05-16
Posts 84Nebraska |
Lovely, and what will happen, I wonder. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
With licence to fill in the blanks, in my version, they had their rocky patches, but always came out tops, and learning in the process, that wounds heal, but they leave scars, so they worked hard at not having rocky patches in the first place, and many decades later, they were still walking, hand in hand, in the park with their darling dog and feeding the pigeons and soaking up the kind sun on the wooden bench, while they watched happy children at play. Owl |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
I think the way you said it is plausable,and desireable...it could happen that way...so nice to think so..Thank you for reading...... many smiles |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Oh, I like this and hope he does away with the lace roses! A |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
I love happy endings, ice. Ida |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Alison Those roses got to me also, that is why the blip about them in the poem. :-) Ida Yup, so do I ...that is why the hope of one is in the poem..lots of possibilities in that last line.. Thank you both for reading. Come read to me some poem, |
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