platitude on a silver evening

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Open Poetry #47

platitude on a silver evening

callalily
Junior Member

since 2011-05-22

Posts 22

0 posted 2011-05-23 08:56 PM

you are a secret,

sacred
against clenched teeth,

suppressed, by sheer will
and guttural strength,

a dulcet utterance,
withheld sometimes

[except when alone
or in marked company],

some sweet one-part harmony
silenced,

in dust motes
and daydreams,

lucid and lofting,
askew.

I falter in time
minutes, then hours,

mute, like small birds
in wing-less tune,

you do not know
my breathless voice

as it mimes its death-song,

the truth.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2011-05-23 09:27 PM

To love from afar is perhaps the most tragic of loves. You have a surrealism in your tone and underneath a pleasing bite.

~ I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" / I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance ~

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2011-05-24 04:57 AM

Sometimes it is best to keep your feelings about someone to yourself, as things can happen that are not wanted.
Nature fills us with desire for others, sometimes at the wrong time..
This poem contains a lesson, that on occasion we forget.
A poem seems to be about fending off complications.
I enjoyed reading it.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2011-05-24 07:29 AM

love your explanation and your lesson~~

M

callalily
Junior Member

since 2011-05-22

Posts 22

4 posted 2011-05-25 07:14 AM

thank you much for your comments

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2011-05-28 11:03 PM

Nice writing...James

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

6 posted 2011-05-29 06:35 AM

Excellent write, dear callalily!

Nichts kann brennen so heiss
wie heimliche Liebe
von der niemand was weiss.

You reminded me of this proverb my Mother knew and told me when I would tell her of my secret love ...

It means:

No fire burns stronger
than that of a secret love
which remains unknown to all.

Beautiful title too!

Love,
Margherita

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