Open Poetry #47 |
a staircase toast |
steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
spiral cases encircling balustrades’ ivory blades in quarters self-ascending treads to shades of gray the moments pass while shower-storms of dew teeming torrential cascading down cheeks remember dress-up days of youth spent upon the spiral cases encircling, self ascending |
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© Copyright 2011 Steaven R Snow - All Rights Reserved | |||
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Steaven This is really cool man. Loved the words and the way you presented the idea. Don't quite remember my days of youth like that but I can appreciate.... Take Care Eric Siamese twins move to England so the other one can learn how to drive! |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
I can see the fascination of the past and understand it. Nice work. Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
Eric, this was for my youngest daughter's upcoming wedding...I saw her on the staircase in her wedding dress...it is her I was remembering...thank you kindly |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Ah, thanks for explaining that. Makes this even more special as it all fits together so well. Eric Love does not look after it's own interests. |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
JerryPat, must have been replying when you posted (didn't want to slight you on the replies)and I do want to say thank you very much |
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faithmairee Senior Member
since 2011-01-05
Posts 1441Poe Haven, USA |
i absolutely love the way you have made your words in the shape of a goblet so befitting the title to your poem...very cleverly done...as for the poem itself, it is so well written....accept my full admiration There must be a poem in here somewhere. |
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mikeandrew Member
since 2010-11-18
Posts 198 |
nicely structured poem good work. |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
faithm & mikeandrew, I love concretes and it was easier doing a goblet than a spiral staircase but, thank you both on kind response...I'm glad you both enjoyed |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
A lovely poem for your daughter to cherish. Steaven. Ida |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
Beautiful moment captured beautifully. ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!" |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
Ida and XG, thank you both...had a chance to share it with her last night and I saw her fight off a lonely tear...stiff upper lip kinda gal, you know |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
beautifully done Steaven. I like the echoes in the last lines and the concrete form. the sentiment is perfect! |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
thank you, dear lady, I appreciate the fact that you took your time to read and respond...nice to know you enjoyed it |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
enjoyed the carving of this steavenr...ice sculpture with heart!! |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
an ice sculpture is a nice sculpture ...thank you, kind sir |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Steaven, with the help of the explanations, I saw the spiral staircase inside the goblet, and the bride of today and the child of yore on the stairs of this exquisite poem. Wiped away a couple of tears myself. Owl |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
Owl, it is as if you had downloaded the picture straight from my mind...you summed up the essence of the write perfectly...thank you for commenting |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Enjoyed... |
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AlCowie Member
since 2011-05-13
Posts 92London, UK |
Fun, enjoyed this! |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Enjoyed this even more than before, Steaven. Owl |
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