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steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

0 posted 2011-01-12 03:32 PM

spiral cases encircling
balustrades’ ivory blades
in quarters self-ascending
treads to shades of gray

the moments pass while
shower-storms of dew
teeming torrential
cascading

down cheeks
remember
dress-up
days
of
youth

spent upon
the spiral cases
encircling, self ascending

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2011-01-12 06:41 PM

Hey Steaven

This is really cool man.
Loved the words and the way you presented the idea.
Don't quite remember my days of youth like that but I can appreciate.........

Take Care

Eric

Siamese twins move to England so the other one can learn how to drive!

JerryPat
Senior Member

since 2010-10-30

Posts 1991
Louisiana/America

2 posted 2011-01-12 06:49 PM

I can see the fascination of the past and understand it. Nice work.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

3 posted 2011-01-12 06:49 PM

Eric,

this was for my youngest daughter's upcoming wedding...I saw her on the staircase in her wedding dress...it is her I was remembering...thank you kindly

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

4 posted 2011-01-12 06:51 PM

Ah, thanks for explaining that. Makes this even more special as it all fits together so well.

Eric

Love does not look after it's own interests.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

5 posted 2011-01-12 06:51 PM

JerryPat,

must have been replying when you posted (didn't want to slight you on the replies)and I do want to say thank you very much

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

6 posted 2011-01-12 07:00 PM

i absolutely love the way you have made your words in the shape of a goblet so befitting the title to your poem...very cleverly done...as for the poem itself, it is so well written....accept my full admiration

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

mikeandrew
Member

since 2010-11-18

Posts 198

7 posted 2011-01-12 07:02 PM

nicely structured poem good work.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

8 posted 2011-01-12 09:29 PM

faithm & mikeandrew, I love concretes and it was easier doing a goblet than a spiral staircase

but, thank you both on kind response...I'm glad you both enjoyed

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

9 posted 2011-01-13 03:39 AM

A lovely poem for your daughter to cherish.
Steaven.
Ida

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

10 posted 2011-01-13 05:39 AM

Beautiful moment captured beautifully.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

11 posted 2011-01-13 10:05 AM

Ida and XG, thank you both...had a chance to share it with her last night and I saw her fight off a lonely tear...stiff upper lip kinda gal, you know

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

12 posted 2011-01-13 11:09 PM

beautifully done Steaven.

I like the echoes in the last lines and the concrete form. the sentiment is perfect!

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

13 posted 2011-01-14 12:29 PM

thank you, dear lady, I appreciate the fact that you took your time to read and respond...nice to know you enjoyed it

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

14 posted 2011-01-14 10:18 AM

enjoyed the carving of this steavenr...ice sculpture with heart!!

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

15 posted 2011-01-14 11:19 AM

an ice sculpture is a nice sculpture

...thank you, kind sir

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

16 posted 2011-01-15 12:26 PM

Steaven, with the help of the explanations, I saw the spiral staircase inside the goblet, and the bride of today and the child of yore on the stairs of this exquisite poem. Wiped away a couple of tears myself.

Owl

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

17 posted 2011-01-15 09:21 AM

Owl, it is as if you had downloaded the picture straight from my mind...you summed up the essence of the write perfectly...thank you for commenting

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

18 posted 2011-05-10 01:12 AM

Enjoyed...

AlCowie
Member

since 2011-05-13

Posts 92
London, UK

19 posted 2011-05-13 09:34 AM

Fun, enjoyed this!

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

20 posted 2011-05-13 12:11 PM

Enjoyed this even more than before, Steaven.

Owl

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