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EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

0 posted 2011-03-07 10:10 AM

Something about rain
at the song of goodbye

the warm intonation
on the cheek of farewell

the birth of the butterfly
and the strum of calypso
on the cobblestone sidewalk
that plays in the background

and how the blue
of your eyes, wore my heart
in the downpour.

[This message has been edited by EmmaRose (03-09-2011 04:16 PM).]

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2011-03-07 10:13 AM

oh I like this! The last stanza is my favorite. good write!
Lori

faithmairee
Senior Member

since 2011-01-05

Posts 1441
Poe Haven, USA

2 posted 2011-03-07 10:26 AM

Like Lori, I enjoyed the last stanza of the poem best.... although the other lines were really good too and made for wonderful imagery...nice one!

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2011-03-07 10:34 AM

wow, now this reminds me of a man in times long gone

beautiful

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

4 posted 2011-03-07 01:33 PM

Emma, I could read you all day... never stop, you're good at this word writin stuff, seriously

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

5 posted 2011-03-07 03:42 PM

excellent write...and like others have said, that last stanza is amazing...well done

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

6 posted 2011-03-07 03:54 PM

This is exquisite, EmmaRose – a sensitive, unique bouquet of consistent metaphor and a celebration of all the senses, scent being implied in the closeness of the rain, superb in it technicality as well – for example the way you encapsulated the poem within the first and last lines about rain, with the end being the climax in every way. This is a finely-honed gem.

Owl

EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

7 posted 2011-03-07 06:50 PM

Thank you so much for your warm responses
and for reading my words. Very appreciated

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

8 posted 2011-03-09 02:38 PM

hello Emma, this is excellent and delicate, I love the subtlety of the images and sensations...Thanks for the enjoyable read.

yann

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

9 posted 2011-03-09 03:59 PM

I liked the whole poem, me. Such a colorful, albeit sad piece of writing. You used such colorful words to accentuate the sadness of the poem.

"the birth of the butterfly" flitting away as a metaphor for lost love. Gotta love it.

~ After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles." ~

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

10 posted 2011-04-10 08:52 AM

quote:
the warm intonation
on the cheek of farewell

This poem is sublime, dear EmmaRose. Few words conveyed big emotions.

Love,
Margherita

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

11 posted 2011-04-10 12:40 PM

FAN-TAS-TIC!

~ Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? ~

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

12 posted 2011-04-13 05:03 PM

this is a lovely and vivid word portrait...fantastic write

EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

13 posted 2011-04-14 07:31 AM

Thanks everyone for stopping by

always appreciated

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