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XOx Uriah xOX
Senior Member

since 2006-02-11

Posts 1403
Virginia

0 posted 2009-06-10 05:40 PM

Third day,
the dividing line.
The day of
either/or

Day of decision
in injuries
and ailments

The third day
will tell the tale,
if there be
festering
or healing

My sobriety
always ends
up drowning
on or after
the third day

The third day
tells the tale,
for better or worse,
in wounds and
resurrection

***

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

1 posted 2009-06-10 06:02 PM

I was beginning to think that I had tried too hard to give this the meaning that I had suspected...but, there it was in the very last word...fitting...that it should be the 'last word'...fitting, indeed

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

2 posted 2009-06-13 11:14 PM

I don't understand this poem but I love how it reads.

That makes me happy.

A

martiniat8
Senior Member

since 2003-06-21

Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic

3 posted 2009-06-15 03:19 AM

This is VERY true of all the addictions Ive tried to shed, but it really takes at least 7 days to purge everything out. 7 day fasts are very powerful, its not the end of the fight, but it provides a foothold of strength. Well done.

Sonofgloin
Junior Member

since 2009-06-09

Posts 48
Australia

4 posted 2009-06-15 03:51 AM

Extremely poignant, with a Lazarus feel to it. Would fit right into a parable...good job.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

5 posted 2009-06-15 04:32 AM

Dear Larry, you have synthesized so very effectively that particular battle.
May day four be added ...

Love and appreciation.

Margherita

Heart2Heart
Senior Member

since 2009-05-15

Posts 738
Scotland/Norway

6 posted 2009-06-15 05:54 AM

Third day is almost half way through week, so still high hopes for better last four day I guess. Enjoyed this poem and short, cropped sentences.
Heart2Heart

Marc-Andre
Senior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 501

7 posted 2009-06-15 08:39 AM

I also struggled a bit with meaning at first, made an educated guess as I went and my guess was confirmed in the very last line...but what if I had guessed wrongly, or not at all? I'd shorten it a bit, or add a hint in the first stanza, lest obscurity detracts readers to what is otherwise an intriguing piece.

Mark

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