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Open Poetry #45
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The Light of Thy Smile
| Open Poetry #45 |
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The Light of Thy Smile |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana 
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Thy beauty in no way can be measured Nor upon any earthly tongue described For thy image shall be as one treasured Where burned forever thy image inscribed Deeper than surface beauty thou possess Far greater what wonders there may be found Diving down among the truest of depths Where the chorus of thy beauty resound A certain something one cannot define That which unspoken, brings to thee such grace Perfected within someone of like mind Where the many lines of thy beauty trace The light of thy smile speaks volumes for thee Of wherein lies the strength of thy beauty |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Deeper than surface beauty thou possess Far greater what wonders there may be found Diving down among the truest of depths Where the chorus of thy beauty resound" lovely  |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: But you defined it beautifully! You show a deep sensitivity with this captivating write. Love, Margherita  |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Thank you Susan, and thank you Margherita. Very nice of you to say this. |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
~beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you have described beauty well~true beauty that comes from the heart! ~ARH  |
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Dreamer05 Junior Member
since 2009-06-23
Posts 30Kansas |
Very well writen. I like the abab rhyme scheme. How do you do rhyming so well? Anytime I try to rhyme it just comes out sounding corny and dumb. Maybe I just need to increase my vocabulary. Anyway, I would like to see your last stanza match your first three. Matching as in having four lines and having the same rhyme scheme. That's the only thing I would change. Otherwise its a wonderful piece of work. Great job! ~Dreamer05~ |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Thank you millette. And Dreamer, thanks. I just think in rhymes so it comes out that way. I have to not think in order to not rhyme if that makes sense. And the last two lines are like that because it is a sonnet style. Probably a basturdized(admin won't let me spell it right) sonnet though. I can never nail them right on the head. |
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Dreamer05 Junior Member
since 2009-06-23
Posts 30Kansas |
Sonnet style? I'm not sure what that is. I'm not all that familiar with the mechanics of poetry. I only know the little bit I learned way back when in high school English class. But if thats the way its meant to be then thats cool. I guess I learned something new today. ~Dreamer05~ |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Like I said, I am no expert. Especially on stressed syllables and all that. But basically it's: abab cdcd efef gg |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
expert or not...I like the feelings and emotions, the passion in them... ~ARH |
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SeraphimBroken Member
since 2009-03-09
Posts 74USA |
Beautifully expressed. Such a wonderful union of emotion and thought transformed into the written word. I loved this. |
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Tiffiena Junior Member
since 2009-07-03
Posts 19 |
This was wonderful! I really enjoyed it =) |
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brneyedgrly Senior Member
since 2009-06-08
Posts 1125nowhere and everywhere |
~dear jerry... yes...very nice rhyme scheme and beautiful words ~s |
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Tara Simms Hall Member
since 2001-11-07
Posts 87South Carolina |
Oh, you do poetry so well (in whatever form)! It reminds me of Lord Byron's "She walks in beauty..." (the most romantic, gorgeous piece of poetry EVER written). I absolutely love this! Tara |
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