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Chalmette Guy
Senior Member

since 2009-03-11

Posts 1257
Louisiana

0 posted 2009-06-30 03:45 PM

Suspend belief for a moment
catch me before I hit the ground
warm my eyes - unfreeze them
whispers lost without a sound

Don't turn your eyes away
save me from myself tonight
only you can change how things are
and bring my breath back to life

Witness my imaginary darkened world
pulling you down - taking over me
my forever dying last wishes
are the things that will never be
how your face is veiled in shadow
of sadness for the years
how beautiful you are mesmerized
beneath the canvas of your tears

Lay your hands on my aura
I'm a slave to the touch
another bleeding heart messiah
who's lost more than too much

Together let's rise from ashes graven
and breathe the pure air of night
from your lips to mine - like in dream
and bring my breath back to life

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

1 posted 2009-07-01 04:04 AM

deep and hopeful words, thank you for sharing.

yann

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

2 posted 2009-07-03 12:45 PM

Lots of hope and emotion in this poem. I think many of us can read it and feel it.

Thank you for sharing.

A

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2009-07-03 03:31 PM

a favorite

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2009-07-03 03:31 PM

Such a hopeful, emotional poem~

I enjoy your work very much!

Tara Simms Hall
Member

since 2001-11-07

Posts 87
South Carolina

5 posted 2009-07-06 11:01 PM

This is intense. I like!

Tara

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

6 posted 2009-07-07 09:26 PM

lots of neat lines in this one...I found these to be my favorites:

"how beautiful you are mesmerized
beneath the canvas of your tears"

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

7 posted 2009-07-07 09:43 PM

"whispers lost without a sound"

Wish I'd written that.

rascalx
Senior Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA

8 posted 2009-07-07 09:46 PM

WOW! good stuff here! LOVE the words. Full of meaning that speaks to me loudly

. And i like the structure of this too - overall a well crafted piece

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