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Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

0 posted 2009-06-22 11:41 AM

Well Met

I lightly clip my cigar,
choosing a light wrapped Churchill tonight.
I strike the match and set it to flame and
the sound stirs my memory.

You were only seventeen then and had all that blond hair,
and a smile that I swear could bend spoons.
We were introduced by a friend and I was in awe
from the first moment I looked at you.

I was bold then, having a fresh and scar less heart
to match all the confidence of a lean young man.
After a brief greeting and some small chit chat,
I said you could drive my car If you would just let me
run my hands through your hair one time.

You paused only for a brief moment and
just laughed that special laugh that has
stayed with me all these years.
You moved closer to me and shook your hair loose
And put your hands on my chest.
Then with those dark brown eyes you looked up
And said “Ok, you first”

As I stood their running my fingers through
Your beautiful hair, you didn’t say a word.
You just closed your eyes and smiled.

It’s a warm evening here in Michigan,
The setting sun is giving a amber hue to the swaying trees.
I hear kids playing over at the ballpark
And someone is calling for a loose dog over and over.

I draw deep on my cigar and as I blow out
the sweet smelling smoke, I smile,
listening to your youthful laugh one more time.

Yoin

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

1 posted 2009-06-22 11:59 AM

This is my most favorite poem. Maybe ever

Thirty bits of glass had become my teeth,
They were breaking each and every time I tried to speak.

brneyedgrly
Senior Member

since 2009-06-08

Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere

2 posted 2009-06-22 12:06 PM

~yo...

brown~eyed girls do it to you everytime...

i really like this poem!

: )

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

3 posted 2009-06-22 01:11 PM

Wow Thank you viking. Glad you enjoyed this one. It is always nice to know that our work touches people in some manner, makes the toll worth the while.

PS. are the viking gonna get BRET FARVE or what? lol (lions fan here )...hey quit laughing !

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

4 posted 2009-06-22 01:58 PM

I am from Minnesota.

I hope we don't. He needs to retire.

The vikes suck now anyway.

Thirty bits of glass had become my teeth,
They were breaking each and every time I tried to speak.

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

5 posted 2009-06-22 02:05 PM

Yeah don't want to carry this thread to far but the latest headlines are that vikes might be offering Farve a contract.

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

6 posted 2009-06-22 04:51 PM

Thank brneyedgrly,

Those moca colored pools of lost dreams, those lucid windowed man traps.
those wispy carmal orbs of intmacy.

Yeah...um they have no impact on me. lol

Yoin

brneyedgrly
Senior Member

since 2009-06-08

Posts 1125
nowhere and everywhere

7 posted 2009-06-22 04:58 PM

~yo...

and brown~eyed girls have hearts of gold...at least i do : )

LindsayP
Member Elite

since 2007-07-28

Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria

8 posted 2009-06-22 10:24 PM

A great poem to read Yoinn

and what a lovely memory to retain.
well done.

Lindsay

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

9 posted 2009-06-22 10:47 PM

This makes me think of an old mystery detective novel.

P

Thirty bits of glass had become my teeth,
They were breaking each and every time I tried to speak.

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

10 posted 2009-06-22 11:48 PM

thank you Lindsay. I think that is what sets all poets aside from others is there ability to keep their memories alive over long periods of time and with greater detail than non poets. Of course you have to put them in words but if their not there then your stuck.

Yoin

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

11 posted 2009-06-22 11:55 PM

You know viking now that you say it, it does sound like a mystery novel lol. Many times i have thought about editing this piece, it clearly lends itself more towards a prose structure than poetry, but i just can't. Only twice in my more than 30 years of writing has a poem just popped in my head fully done and gift wrapped. I was standing on my balcony smoking my cigar and boom there it was. The other was one called Lucky Penny. I was walking in the snow it was bitter cold for this area and the sound of the snow on my boots just put me to writing in my head and when i got home the whole thing was done.

Yoin

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

12 posted 2009-06-23 04:11 PM

I like it a lot, yo.

The spoon-bending smile line makes me laugh every time.

-P

Thirty bits of glass had become my teeth,
They were breaking each and every time I tried to speak.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

13 posted 2009-06-23 04:21 PM

So wonderfully fresh, dear Tim, as if it happened just yesterday. Glorious memories, beautifully expressed.

Love,
Margherita

Dreamer05
Junior Member

since 2009-06-23

Posts 30
Kansas

14 posted 2009-06-23 05:06 PM

I like it. I like the images I get in my mind when I read it. I'd like to know just a little about how her hair feels. Is it silkly, long, or something else? I can see what is being remembered but I want to feel it too.

~Dreamer05~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

15 posted 2009-06-23 08:42 PM

a now favorite of mine, too

M

rad802
Member

since 2008-04-19

Posts 279
KY U.S.A.

16 posted 2009-06-23 08:49 PM

Wow nicely done.
Hope to read more of your stuff.

A worthy legacy is the irrevocable consequence of dreaming.
Rick A. Delmonico

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

17 posted 2009-06-25 10:06 AM

a bit of a gurkha fan myself or some handrolls that Raul does over in the Old Town Shop...this one was a savor place replay to read and feel...there was a blond with brown eyes that gave me a glance as she walked by...then wrinkled her nose and pretended to cough...does that mean she has the hots for me...lol enjoyed it!!

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

18 posted 2009-06-25 10:07 AM

Thank you all for your kind words. They do so much to lift my spirits

Dreamer thanks for the thoughts and I do believe you are right. I will ad a little more imagery to the hair.

Thanks

Yoin

HAZARD
Junior Member

since 2009-06-24

Posts 40
ENGLAND

19 posted 2009-06-25 01:01 PM

very absorbing and a good read - nice turn of phrase. Also love the clip of two lines in your reply... whispy carmel orbs!

To my eye the poem is
Missing an 'an' rather than 'a'?

'a amber'... or 'an amber?'

HAZARD

(New here)

Yoinn
Senior Member

since 2007-08-16

Posts 649
Michigan

20 posted 2009-06-25 01:15 PM

Thanks for your reply Hazard.

And a good eye you have my friend. thanks for your help. I will get that fixed

Yoin

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