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Open Poetry #45
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the slow decay of Mother
| Open Poetry #45 |
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the slow decay of Mother |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland 
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Shards, thin pieces of unsaid words fall like a sun shower beneath her brow. Quaking earth and shaking hands and raindrops painted red. Signs that what looks whole has cracks beneath the surface. And moans break the night cut the heart time has changed familiarity to discomfort. That amber menace creeps into every room, disfigures conversation. A liquid monoxide, craved by necessity and futility. Her way is desolate bare there is no rousing chorus or happy ending. Daughter love broke long ago, childhood nightmares of mothers lost in supermarkets, of a strangers grip, a foreign face, have become Wishful Thinking That this girl might see her mother and find another woman there, a refund for the broken one. But the girl looks and all she sees is wintry broken reality. A solitary figure, chinking bottles on the sidewalk. and he said "little blackbird, take this letter to her" |
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| © Copyright 2009 cheye - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Awww, this is so sad! Such a poignant poem, filled with tears of what might have been, should have been... I am deeply sorry if you are bearing this kind of pain~ |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Cheye, you have written a heartwrenching piece of poetry here. Sad, but ever so well written, impressive really. Love, Margherita |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
That this girl might see her mother and find another woman there, a refund for the broken one. You and me both  Very poignant and more familiar than I care to remember. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Dear Cheye, I doubt that there is a reader who would not be moved by this deeply emotional poem ~ and your talent!!! Excellent write! I feel like wrapping my arms around you. Love & Light, Linda  :h;ugs: |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
BluesSerenade: thank you for your touching reply, and your sympathy |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
Margherita ~ well my specialty seems to be wrenching peoples hearts! Perhaps I should try a comedic piece next? But I'm really not witty enough  thanks for reading and responding Mysteria ~ so sorry for your sad experiences. I think a pip hug is in order don't you? Linda, what a lovely reply! I suppose that it what every aspiring poet wants to do... move people. Thank you for your kindly words. Love always fellow pipsters, Cheye xo and he said "little blackbird, take this letter to her" |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
playing.with.crayons - these words came from a tender heart, and with such emotion. This writing is sad, but you have a way of saying about sadness... BC |
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Guybrush Threepwood New Member
since 2009-10-29
Posts 9 |
It's pretty frikkin' haunting, especially the last two lines there. The story was told quite well, you could extract a lot from what little you put down. Great job. |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
BC~ thank you ever so much... much emotion was invested in the write. GT~ I reckon pretty frikkin haunting is pretty frikkin appropriate for halloween too, don't you think? thanks |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I wish everyone could have had the nurturing, caring parents I had. It became a large family with my father, after marrying my mother, adopting my 2 older siblings during times when it wasn't very acceptable to marry a divorced woman. And then fathering myself and 2 others. I guess we were pretty lucky back then.( in the 1940's)  M |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
nakdthoughts ~ it sounded like a lovely big family. I adore my dad, he's a pretty amazing person to me. I remember (much) earlier days of footy in the street, flying kites in the park, making paper mache volcanoes in the kitchen. I had a lovely childhood. Wish time travel were invented already!!! |
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