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Open Poetry #45
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playing.with.crayons
Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362
Neverland

0 posted 2009-10-30 10:25 AM



Shards, thin pieces of unsaid words
fall like a sun shower
beneath her brow.

Quaking earth and shaking hands
and raindrops painted red.
Signs
that what looks whole
has cracks beneath the surface.

And moans break the night
cut the heart
time has changed familiarity
to discomfort.

That amber menace
creeps into every room, disfigures conversation.
A liquid monoxide, craved by necessity
and futility.

Her way is desolate
bare
there is no rousing chorus
or happy ending.

Daughter love broke long ago,
childhood nightmares of mothers lost in supermarkets,
of a strangers grip, a foreign face,
have become Wishful Thinking

That this girl might see her mother
and find another woman there,
a refund for the broken one.

But the girl looks
and all she sees
is
wintry
broken
reality.

A solitary figure,
chinking bottles on the sidewalk.


and he said "little blackbird, take this letter to her"

© Copyright 2009 cheye - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2009-10-30 11:23 AM


Awww, this is so sad! Such a poignant poem, filled with tears of what might have been, should have been...

I am deeply sorry if you are bearing this kind of pain~

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2009-10-30 11:54 AM


Dear Cheye, you have written a heartwrenching piece of poetry here.  Sad, but ever so well written, impressive really.

Love,
Margherita

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2009-10-30 02:42 PM


That this girl might see her mother
and find another woman there,
a refund for the broken one.

You and me both   Very poignant and more familiar than I care to remember.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2009-10-30 07:10 PM


Dear Cheye, I doubt that there is a reader  who would not be moved by this deeply emotional poem ~ and your talent!!!

Excellent write!

I feel like wrapping my arms around you.

Love & Light,
Linda
:h;ugs:

playing.with.crayons
Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362
Neverland
5 posted 2009-10-30 08:45 PM


BluesSerenade:

thank you for your touching reply, and your sympathy

playing.with.crayons
Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362
Neverland
6 posted 2009-10-30 08:55 PM


Margherita ~ well my specialty seems to be wrenching peoples hearts! Perhaps I should try a comedic piece next? But I'm really not witty enough


thanks for reading and responding


Mysteria ~ so sorry for your sad experiences. I think a pip hug is in order don't you?


Linda,

what a lovely reply! I suppose that it what every aspiring poet wants to do... move people. Thank you for your kindly words.

Love always fellow pipsters,

Cheye xo



and he said "little blackbird, take this letter to her"

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
7 posted 2009-10-31 01:05 AM


playing.with.crayons - these words came from a tender heart, and with such emotion. This writing is sad, but you have a way of saying about sadness...

BC

Guybrush Threepwood
New Member
since 2009-10-29
Posts 9

8 posted 2009-10-31 01:18 AM


It's pretty frikkin' haunting, especially the last two lines there. The story was told quite well, you could extract a lot from what little you put down.

Great job.

playing.with.crayons
Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362
Neverland
9 posted 2009-10-31 07:28 AM


BC~ thank you ever so much... much emotion was invested in the write.

GT~ I reckon pretty frikkin haunting is pretty frikkin appropriate for halloween too, don't you think? thanks

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2009-10-31 08:18 AM


I wish everyone could have had the nurturing, caring parents I had.

It became a large family with my father, after marrying my mother, adopting my 2 older siblings during times when it wasn't very acceptable to marry a divorced woman. And then fathering myself and 2 others.

I guess we were pretty lucky back then.( in the 1940's)


M


playing.with.crayons
Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362
Neverland
11 posted 2009-11-04 01:07 AM


nakdthoughts ~ it sounded like a lovely big family. I adore my dad, he's a pretty amazing person to me.

I remember (much) earlier days of footy in the street, flying kites in the park, making paper mache volcanoes in the kitchen. I had a lovely childhood.

Wish time travel were invented already!!!

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