They went over the falls they did.

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GBride
Senior Member

since 2009-07-02

Posts 538

0 posted 2009-10-28 10:26 PM

They went over the falls in a canoe they did
in a canoe they went over the falls.
On a windy night with the moon half hid,
they went over the falls they did.

They went in spite of their parents wishes.
They went before doing the all their dishes.
They fell, they fell and fell straight on down.
Every one yelled, “Each one of you is foolish clown.”

They yelled back, “ we don't care a button.
We may be fools, but we don't care for mutton.”
They fell, and fell, and fell, and fell on down.
They fell, and fell, but none had a frown.

They danced, they danced, they danced on their canoe.
They danced, they danced, they danced a great jig.
They danced, they danced, they laughed as they went.
They danced, they danced, they looked heaven sent.

They fell, they fell, they fell into Mumpsy land.
And when they got down there was a brass band.
The mumpsys sang, waved and gave great parade.
They waved flags, and marched without being paid.

Yes, it's true they had great fall, had a great fall.
But all the way down the just had a fabulous ball.
All the way down, and down they had not a fear.
Of the disapproving up above, none had a tear.

Now, the mumpsys are squat, short and fat.
But to have a good time all know where it's at.
The mumpsys have hair of red, blue, and yellow.
But they sure know how to tickle a fellow.

Now if there is a moral anywhere to be found.
One can't be a fool unless someone is around.
To record the fact of your great, deep fall.
And your fall must be very deep and quite tall.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 2009-10-29 09:04 AM

I enjoyed every line... Thanks for the grins to start my morning! *S*

AncientHippie
Member

since 2009-10-15

Posts 411
Surfing the Cosmic Flow

2 posted 2009-10-30 08:49 AM

This is a wondrous work, GBride. It is reminiscent of Lewis Carroll at his finest. Like like this tale which manages to be moralising without being preachy, which is often a very narrow divide. Fine work, my friend.
Namaste
Jim

"We are stardust: we are golden: and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden." --Joni Mitchell "Woodstock"

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2009-10-30 08:19 PM

Well, it would appear to me, GB, that those fellows had more fun in their canoe than they would have had if they had eaten mutton and done the dishes! lol

I found my self singing the words. They were so light and lyrical!

Linda

Guybrush Threepwood
New Member

since 2009-10-29

Posts 9

4 posted 2009-10-30 11:51 PM

Hmm, it was nice and playful, but I don't think the flow was there and some of the rhymes seemed forced; the "heaven sent" bit, for example, didn't seem to aid the flow or the description, in my opinion.

You have a great idea here and I think a lot of it is really fun, but with some work it could be great.

N|D|N|C|Lost-Poet
Member

since 2009-07-30

Posts 360
New Orleans

5 posted 2009-10-30 11:54 PM

"Heaven sent" Means they are majestic.

Not sure how GBride meant it, but thats the basic meaning.

I thought it fit well.

Beautifully captured.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

6 posted 2009-10-31 12:48 PM

GBride - I can picture those fools going over the falls in that canoe. Well done...

BC

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