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Open Poetry #45

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dragngrl28
Junior Member

since 2009-10-12

Posts 45
Texas, USA

0 posted 2009-10-16 11:25 AM

Lend me your eloquence
in words and of rhyme.

Tempo-rare-ly out of it
and empty is the mind.

Forgotten phrases
I meant to say.

It's just a phase
that will not stay.

Searching in vain
for words with power.

Finding no refrain
in this devoid tower.

Repertoire of a desert
and no form will procreate.

[This message has been edited by dragngrl28 (10-16-2009 12:27 PM).]

martiniat8
Senior Member

since 2003-06-21

Posts 897
Prague, Bohemia, Czech Republic

1 posted 2009-10-16 11:39 AM

well, just the shape of this poem, forms something in its self, like it is a goblet. the only line that bothers me is "searching for vain" it bothers me in more ways than one, like you purposely misspelled or something. Maybe thats the point, the crux of this piece. In any matter, it is intriguing, I enjoyed the read, and visual, thanks. btw, where in Texas are you from?

~Brad

dragngrl28
Junior Member

since 2009-10-12

Posts 45
Texas, USA

2 posted 2009-10-16 12:29 PM

Thanks for pointing that line out. It was a mistake--now corrected. I'm in Austin but just moved here 3 months ago. My husband has family in Fort Worth and we almost moved to that area.

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

3 posted 2009-10-17 09:41 AM

hello Drag, nice inspiration about inspiration, I like the tone and questionning of the poem, it seems that inspiration can talk about everything...Great work.
yann

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