Open Poetry #45 |
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Rondeau (Aurora Borealis) |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway ![]() |
![]() The autumn evening air is sweet The grass feels soft beneath my feet Outlined by twilight I can see How beautiful the sky can be As quietly the shadows creep When all the flowers go to sleep The little stars come out to peep Over woodlands and dark blue sea With gentle eyes Then eerie green begins to sweep Across horizons, then to leap In zig-zag ribbons, silently Resembling chains of jewellery As morning rose begins to seep With gentle eyes |
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© Copyright 2009 Heart2Heart - All Rights Reserved | |||
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Ahhh, to witness this majestic performance of the sky! You just brought me close to the personal experience with your wonderful words, dear Katriona. Love, Margherita ![]() |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
Thank you so much for your very kind and lovely reply Margherita. Yes, the Northern Lights are a fantastic sight, I often see them in the autumn and winter, but environmental specialists tell me this stunning spectacle will be seen less and less in the future due to pollution in the atmosphere. As to the rondeau itself, and for those who are not familiar with it, it's really an old French form of classic poesy, adapted somewhat through the centuries to English ways of writing, which is a pity I think. A rondeau should consist of fifteen lines, of which thirteen should have eight syllables, plus two refrains (which are half lines, each of four syllables), using altogether only three rhymes. It has three stanzas, of which the last line of the second and third should be identical. I think the most beautiful and probably the most well known rondeau is that old classic "In Flanders Fields" by the Canadian poet John McCrae who wrote it when he knew he was dying. Heart2Heart ![]() |
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Alison![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Heart2Heart, You have done the Aurora justice. Beautiful writing for magical lights. Alison |
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D.Lester Young Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219Austin, Tx |
Love this with your 8 syllable rhyme and with your offset line “With gentle eyes.” Truly beautiful Poetic craft(wo)manship, Blessings. By the way, the imagery was also great. This is also a song, 2nd stanza the chorus. |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
Alison, thanks so much for stopping by to comment. Heart2Heart |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
Thank you Lester, yes why not, lyrics for a very short song ![]() ![]() Heart2Heart |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very nice...James |
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D.Lester Young Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219Austin, Tx |
One more verse of your talent along with the chorus and it is a best seller song. I am afraid my Ben Franklin voice cannot make it. They ask me to play Ben Franklin, I was game. I do not need make up, but when I found it was 1776, a musical, dance play, I politely said no. There Franklin was okay, but did not weather like this hundred dollar bill poet, worth a few Lincoln pennies. Anyway it still sings to me. [This message has been edited by D.Lester Young (07-20-2009 07:57 PM).] |
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Billie Cullimore Member
since 2009-03-27
Posts 315 |
Dear Heart2Heart; I hope to catch you here. I love your poems and try to read them as oftan as I can altho I do not get to my computer every day. I want to answer your question as to whether any of my children wright poetry, the answer is Yes. My daughter Shelley and my son Tracey and his son Chance. If you have been reading any of WTBAKELAR (Tracey) Then you have been reading my sons work. I am very proud of him. So far my daughter or my grandson have not put anything on pip talk but on Google and Poetry.com May be soon. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I am tucking this fine Bordeaux, I mean 'Rondeau', away. Smooth as a fine wine. This is one of my favourite poetic forms and you have done it masterfully. I grew up in Northern Ontario, Canada, and marveled at the Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis). I, too, have been moved to write poems about them but none as beautiful as this, dear lady poet. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Linda |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
This is something I have never seen but wish I had. Thank you for sharing your view. I truly enjoy your writing, Poetess. Ida |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
Ah Lester, I'm afraid my croaky voice would scare the daylights out of anybody, so I wouldn't advise to include me if you want an audience, haha. Perhaps you're right though, could mke a nice lullaby for one of my grandchildren, shall think about adding on that last verse ![]() |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
Oh such wonderful news Billie. ![]() Heart2Heart (Katriona ![]() |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
Oh Linda, smiling as I read your reply, thanks m'dear for looking in. Well growing up in Canada you should know for sure what I'm talking about here, did you ever notice that buzzing, electrical sound the lights make too, very eerie. Katriona ![]() |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
Thanks Ida for your reply. I think the Northern Lights can only be seen up north, the farthest south I have seen them is the borderline between Scotland and England. Then you have the same effect in the southern hemisphere where they call the lights Aurora Australis, probably just as beautiful a sight. Katriona ![]() |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
There is splendor in the peace of this poem and magesty in the aurora borealis. I'd like to see it once. I just learned about the Rondeau form of poetry here on PIP. I will have to read Flanders Field now, as well. Thank you for sharing these lines to an art. Karen |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
Thanks Lassy, very nice of you to stop by, thanks for your kind reply. Heart2Heart |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
This is beautiful, Heart2Heart. |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Beautiful ![]() ARCTIC WIND |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
In response to your reply, oh, yes! I most definitely have heard that sound. The air is charged with electricity and it is a most ethereal experience. Our home was by the golf course and I used to go out there at night and lie down in the snow and gaze in wonder at the electrical display of shimmering lights. Magical! ![]() ![]() Linda |
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angellea Member
since 2009-03-29
Posts 144NC, USA |
i am enchanted by your words and awestruck by the beautiful picture. it couldn't be more perfect. maranda |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
hello Katriona, you make me love rules in poetry, something I have abandoned since a long time...Thank you very much for the rondeaU. yann |
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Johan Member
since 2009-05-13
Posts 88Lincolnshire, England U.K. |
When I first saw this wonder of the skies on a cruise to the Norwegian fiords, it was a moment of real amazement, you have captured it as I saw it with your poem and picture, beautifully written Katriona. Johan |
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secondhanddreampoet Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394a 'Universalist' ! |
superb imagery (both poetic and photographic)! sustained applause for this 'penning' ! |
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vandana![]()
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
lovely ![]() |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
A very warm and grateful thank you to each and one of you for taking your precious time to look in on this rondeau. The picture is from Iceland by the way, though we can see this marvellous phenomenon on and off here where I live farther south every autumn and winter when the atmosphere is clear and cold. Heart2Heart ![]() |
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Heart2Heart Senior Member
since 2009-05-15
Posts 738Scotland/Norway |
A special comment to Yann: Some see strictly formatted rules in poetry as restrictive (I'm talking about classic style poesy), I love the challenge and opportunities they offer ![]() Heart2Heart |
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jbstillwater Member
since 2009-07-03
Posts 216Albuquerque, New Mexico |
LOve it! Love it! Standing ovation, Katriona. How well you preserve this beautiful world for the future!!! Huggs Jan |
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