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madelyn
Member

since 2009-09-03

Posts 172
Purgatory

0 posted 2009-10-24 08:35 PM

I'm sorry

I'm sorry
When I'm not strong enough

I'm sorry
When I disappear in my own world

I'm sorry
When I can’t see you

I'm sorry
When I can’t hear you

I'm sorry
When I'm moody

I'm sorry
When I'm happy and your sad

I'm sorry
When you feel like crap and I feel like a hundred bucks

I'm sorry
When I'm not there for you

I'm sorry
For thinking that your little problem will get better

I'm sorry
When I lose control and start crying

I'm sorry
For being sad when you dad took you home halfway through my birthday party

I'm sorry
For ever gossiping about you

I'm sorry
For ever hating your guts

I'm sorry
For not knowing what to do

I'm sorry
For being a girl who doesn’t act like a girl

I'm sorry
For not understanding your girlie problems

I'm sorry
For the way a look

I'm sorry
For the way I laugh

I'm sorry
For ever making a bad joke

I'm sorry
For the way I talk

I'm sorry
For making you listen

I'm sorry
For my weight

I'm sorry
That you always had to look skinner when standing next to me

I'm sorry
For my looks

I'm sorry
I thought I looked pretty at my party

I'm sorry
About my feelings

I'm sorry
When you like a guy and I like him too

I'm sorry
For the way I think

I'm sorry
For ever thinking you cared

I'm sorry
I even exist

I'm sorry
My mother ever gave birth to me.

I'm so sorry
That you had to be my friend all my life.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2009-10-24 11:47 PM

You can't feel sorry for everything other people can't put up with. It wont get you anywhere.

Nice write.

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
...popsicle!

Bob K
Member Elite

since 2007-11-03

Posts 4208

2 posted 2009-10-25 06:31 PM

Dear Madelyn,

          Thank you for the heart-felt and wrenching write.  It really took a lot of reaching deep for this one.  But this is, of course, the easy one to do of the two that the exercise demands.  The second half is much more difficult and will make you very uncomfortable, but it needs to be done to make this one complete.

     What you need to do, is to take each one of these "I'm sorry" lines, and turn them inside out.  Much more difficult.  You will be left with a series of completely puzzling statements, that you will need to edit into a poem.  You don't have to show the poem to anybody, and some of the lines will be completely wrong and off base, but some of them will hold some surprises for you, insights about the poem.

     What you think about yourself, of course, is personal business, but when you're writing a poem, you can allow yourself to surprise yourself, and maybe shock yourself and sometimes delight yourself and make yourself think a bit.
I'm sorry  (I'm freaking thrilled!))

I'm sorry
When I'm not strong enough (I'm overjoyed when I find I'm strong enough!)

I'm sorry
When I disappear in my own world (I'm blown away when I make myself real in this world!)

I'm sorry   (I'm happy when you show yourself to me)
When I can’t see you

I'm sorry  I"m pleased when you speak up!)
When I can’t hear you

I'm sorry  (I'm pleased that I have a range of feelings!)
When I'm moody

I'm sorry
When I'm happy and your sad (I'm glad that you and I aren't the same person, and don't have to pretend to have the same reactions to things at the same times)

I'm sorry
When you feel like crap and I feel like a hundred bucks  (I'm happy when I feel like a hundred bucks, and I'd love to be able to share that with you when you feel able to accept that from me.)

     I include a few examples here, so show you what I mean.  It's best that the things you say be as true as the other things.  Lying isn't helpful in these situations, though sometimes in poetry, if you can come up with a really spectacular lie, that can be helpful, too.  But we're just talking about different points of view on the truth here, and understanding that different things are true at the same time.

     I hope you don't feel like I'm too much of a dingbat for suggesting you complete your wonderful exercise, but I'd really like to see what you can do if you exercise some of that creativity I see running through these lines already.

     Thanks for your willingness to read this far, Madelyn.

All my best, Bob Kaven

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