On the spot free verse 5 - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #9

On the spot free verse 5

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

0 posted 2009-10-08 02:33 AM

On the spot free verse 5

Tremble. Trim bull.
Threaten the sky with oaths of rage.
Point out each cloud and marred by thunder.

Rain drops striking like blue sight dots.
Painted targets for a man on a trigger surge.

Tremble and sew the thimble.
Hide your secrets in the cashe-laden silk.
Don't look for anymore thoughts without a warrant.
Seek first the kingdom or watch as it steps down, sole foot.

Crazy highs and bloody torn wounds.
All the world trembling without a thought forward.
Fools can carve out smiles when
there's no one to care.

Creamed face glaring, peering, staring, reluctant
to give up the rights to prohibit.

10/5/09
6:54 PM - 6:58 PM

kindredspirit
Member

since 2009-05-19

Posts 156

1 posted 2009-10-08 11:50 AM

I love it! Writing freely obviously brings out the best in your creativity, and this paints deep word pictures.
I especially liked the line "Fools can carve out smiles when
there's no one to care." -Quite profound, made me think.

priyanka
Member

since 2009-06-15

Posts 216
india

2 posted 2009-10-09 11:38 AM

I agree with kindredspirit...
You're plain genius!!

great wite...

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