On the spot free verse 1 - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #9

On the spot free verse 1

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

0 posted 2009-10-05 02:40 AM

On the spot free verse 1

Morphine drip.
Pain drop killer.
A serial stamped on the stone-white pillar.

Hospital wall, cold rolled floor.
A cyclops' cave seems less lonesome.

Framed photos, half-flated balloons.
Reminders of unfufilled filialities.

Nurse in. Nurse out. Scribbles on the clipboard.
Nothing to do; sobered and so bored.

Keyboard a knock away, but power plug a door aside.
The TV never seemed so remoteless.
Hopeless.
Dopeless.

But the curtain moves on next door.
One patient covered,
way too many more.

10/4/09
11:29 PM - 11:40 PM

priyanka
Member

since 2009-06-15

Posts 216
india

1 posted 2009-10-05 05:18 PM

aww...dats just so sad ...
these realities of life
they hit so bad

nice write...
liked it

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

2 posted 2009-10-05 07:09 PM

Wow, I really love this.
Fantastic write.

library

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
...popsicle!

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

3 posted 2009-10-05 09:06 PM

priyanka: thank you for your words. However, in case you don't know, not all of my writing reflects my current state. Lol, it just happened to pop into my head during those ten minutes. (But yeah, it was sad.)

Forever Broken: Lol, thanks for considering, but it was just on the spot. ^_^'

There is power in the pen.

priyanka
Member

since 2009-06-15

Posts 216
india

4 posted 2009-10-06 11:16 AM

I did understand then...
But just that it happens all the time...

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

5 posted 2009-10-06 02:35 PM

Hit Hard.. love this poem
Krysti

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

6 posted 2009-10-06 06:45 PM

Ah, I see. My bad then! XD

Haha, thanks Krysti. That's what I aim for.

There is power in the pen.

priyanka
Member

since 2009-06-15

Posts 216
india

7 posted 2009-10-10 08:01 AM

lol!! your just too good anyways!

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