Drunk Again ( the reason i left for so long)

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Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

0 posted 2009-07-09 07:21 PM

well for some of you who know, i used to write and post here...frequently. but after a while i found faith....and not faith as in God or anything but faith as in a girl...named faith.
she opened my eyes to a harsh reality. so i quit everything i thought i was doing wrong in my life for her. classic love story right?? WRONG. theres no such thing. never was. like everything else, it fell apart. along with me. now im a mess but i dont want any sympathy. i just want you to enjoy my words... so tell me your oppinion.

im drunk again and it four a.m.

another night wasted
i think its time that i face this....

after three months
and a case a day
i figured out i cant drink you away
the memories of your gorgeous face
are a part of me
that i can never erase

i need you now
because your reason i live
but you made it clear
that i was just some kid

that never had a chance
as you had you fun
theres pressure on the trigger
and im under the gun

i've lost my life
i've lost my faith
so take my breath
and give it away

its not worth it
if i dont have you
but now im drunk
and you have no clue

as to who i am
or what i believe
you said you never cared
you just kept me decieved

but after three months
and a case a day
i figured out i cant drink you away
the memories of your gorgeous face
are a part of me
that i can never erase

~ you cant run from yourself ~

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

1 posted 2009-07-09 07:56 PM

WOW.. All i can really say is.. i kinda know how u feel atm... but ur work is amazing as always.. you blow me away everytime.. it's great too see u back here..

moonbeam

Member Elite

since 2005-12-24

Posts 2356

2 posted 2009-07-10 04:51 AM

It's not the best of the poems you've posted, but it may be one of the most heartfelt. Now you just need to turn the heartfelt into a work of poetic art.

And girls: avoid them like the plague if you want any peace of mind, become a monk is good.

Bob K
Member Elite

since 2007-11-03

Posts 4208

3 posted 2009-07-10 05:40 PM

Dear Clockwork_Orange,

                               This isn't bad.

     I have a suggestion that might be worth your time.  Why not try re-writing the poem using the Jim Simmerman poetry exercise?  It sometimes helps folks look at their material from a new angle, and gets them unjammed a bit.  It also brings in a bit of playfulness — always helpful among such a basically headbanging group as we poets can sometimes be.
http://mypage.siu.edu/puglove/twenty.htm

     Let me know if it's at all helpful.  It's gotten me out of some tight spots in the past.  Good luck.

Bob Kaven

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

4 posted 2009-07-12 10:02 PM

so much emotion and honesty
i loved it

hope you're feeling better soon

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