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Teen Poetry #9
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the_inner_me11
Junior Member
since 2009-05-12
Posts 15


0 posted 2009-06-20 11:04 PM


Need help with the title. Suggestions please.


Standing still and looking on,
I see the sight i feared upon.
Silently searching,
But no words are perching,
Upon my toungue,
Feeling my body collapse like a lung.
Tired and alone,
I step away and grope for my phone.
I know someone will be there,
But where,
Oh where am i?
Crawling away to lie,
Secluded and scared to die.
Crying and hurting,
Why are you always flirting,
Playing with my emotions,
Your love like somber potions.
Breaking apart,
With no where to dart.
I think I'll hide,
Where no one can tell how badly you've hurt me inside.

© Copyright 2009 the_inner_me11 - All Rights Reserved
meganne_77
Junior Member
since 2009-04-15
Posts 14
Oklahoma
1 posted 2009-06-24 08:45 PM


i really liked this poem. i liked the rhythm n rhyme and the meaning. Good luck giving it a title, because idk?

-meg-

the_inner_me11
Junior Member
since 2009-05-12
Posts 15

2 posted 2009-06-28 05:35 PM


Thank you. Im happy to hear some feedback.
priyanka
Member
since 2009-06-15
Posts 216
india
3 posted 2009-07-03 08:03 AM


nice poem... there is a perfect flow... liked it... and there is somr real meaning in there... you project your emotions very well...
Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk
Junior Member
since 2009-05-03
Posts 31
Terrell,Texas
4 posted 2009-07-10 09:36 PM


I think a nice poem title is How You Hurt Me.

We are all unique  in Jesus' eyes.

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navwin » Main Forums » Teen Poetry #9 » [untitled]

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