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Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

0 posted 2009-01-12 01:41 AM

*I wrote this and revised this when I was half-delirious from fever, so there's bound to be mistakes...*

Burnt Raw

Scathing beats and foreign words weave through
the canals of my ears.
My eyes throb and the world takes a leap;
My mind's way of breaking and entering itself.

Reality is my anchor,
but my fingers tremble at the thought of this lifeline.
Angry and broken, my pen claws at the paper,
an echo of the ache that grips these bones.

My heart beats itself raw,
unaware of the pathogens it bleeds.
My system shudders in defeat.
And the plane of my mind burns away.

There is power in the pen.

Abbeon
Member

since 2006-11-30

Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder

1 posted 2009-01-12 05:15 AM

You know, i like it, it leaves you wanting more. And bringing images.

Rebecca-Jade

Words have power, Im going to unleash the power of my soul.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

2 posted 2009-01-12 07:20 PM

I liked it as well, made me think!!!

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

3 posted 2009-01-12 07:32 PM

Thanks Abeon, I'm glad u like it. Though I'd rather not have to be sick in order to write like this. :]

It's great that this made u think freeand2sexy. Haha, sometimes it's hard for me to collect my thoughts.

There is power in the pen.

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

4 posted 2009-01-12 10:44 PM

nice to read sumthin new. it was great btw. really great word choise. this is my fave line.

Reality is my anchor,
but my fingers tremble at the thought of this lifeline.

assassin of verse???? more like angel of verse.

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

5 posted 2009-01-13 01:09 AM

Thanks for reading Clockwork! And that line gave me some trouble actually. I changed the words like 3 times, and another 2 times when I was level-headed.

Unfortunately, I'm no angel...xp Besides, I'm nocturnal.

There is power in the pen.

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