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Teen Poetry #9
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Falling for you
| Teen Poetry #9 |
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Falling for you |
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lovelyswagg14 Junior Member
since 2009-05-17
Posts 12Irvine,California |
It seems like whenever your around me You put a spell on me Don't know what to say or do I think im falling for you Whenever I hear your name A smile is forced upon my face When your with another girl I wish I could take her place I feel complete Its like we were destined to meet Its as simple as they say I can't go on Without you another day. |
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| © Copyright 2009 ..kharlye.. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kalysta Junior Member
since 2009-04-02
Posts 41Ohio |
I like this a lot. But I also think you could expand it more. Give more about what makes you like this guy so much. Tell about him, not necesiarly saying he has brown hair and he is tall. Talk about why he makes you tick. Why is he so important? What makes him so special? Why do you want to be in those other girls places when he is walking with them? I hope this doesnt upset you in anyway but I'm just giving my opinion. But I do like this a good deal. Keep writing. ~Kalysta~ ~Kalysta~ |
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