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Teen Poetry #9

My Immortal

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-04-24 07:28 PM

I look up to the dark, bleak, sky
Searching for you there
I stare at ever cloud to see a face
with eyes that gaze back in care

I listen on the wind
To hear you whisper out my name
To find myself wrapped in memories
That still ended up the same

I caress your little picture
In your eyes you try to hide
Killing as I remember every promise
That is hurting me inside

I can trace your very lips
Press upon my porcelain skin
Without a hand to trace the feeling
Noticing the battle I can't win

I can see it now as I fall asleep
That my dreams are of your perfection
A voice without a sound, A heart with no love
Your immortal being without a reflection

(I got the name and last line from the song My Immortal by Evanescence. I don't really like this poem.. But its been a while since I wrote something. )

Suncleaver
Member

since 2009-01-18

Posts 481
Stafford England

1 posted 2009-04-24 08:10 PM

I enjoyed this poem Zach, it was articulately melancholic. Good to see you posting again, although the evanescence title threw me a bit. Try listening to some My Dying Bride or Anathema, that will make you write something really miserable :p

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

2 posted 2009-04-24 11:35 PM

It was a little confusing, but i liked it.
good write,

{~~*~~}

Emmalee Janelle
{~~*~~}

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