Teen Poetry #9 |
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Urban Decay |
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Octave Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186Highlands, Scotland. |
Urban Decay Let’s burn down this city Tear it hand in hand We’ll draw something pretty All over the land and We’ll chew up the ashes And choke on the lights And when the world crashes We’ll break up the fight We’ll dance on the cracks In the pavement and mind And we’ll lie on our backs And we’ll see what we find And the city will weep And we will just laugh All motion shall sleep On fury’s behalf Who’s counting and crying As we spin through decay And we’ve given up trying As city screams dismay Hello urban breakdown Come and see us smile Just take a look around At our uninspired style Paint runs through the drains And we sing in broken streets And the city cries disdain As this is where we meet Let’s burn down this city Let’s burn it down for good And we’ll say what a pity Because no one understood. |
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moonbeam![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Hi Octave Pretty catchy meter, and a good strong message too. In my head when I read this my mind is dying to put it to music - would make great lyrics. I can just see Dire Straits doing it; but then I bet you don't remember them ![]() M |
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Octave Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186Highlands, Scotland. |
Yes, it does seem quite singysongy. I play guitar and have recently started putting some of my poetry to music, i might try it with this. Believe it or not, i listen to the Dire Straits. Haha, the old music isn't completely lost you know. |
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moonbeam![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Thank god for that ![]() |
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punkrockerrobin![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
I LOVE HOW YOU RHYME. ITS AWESOME HOW YOU CAN GET IT TO FLOW SO WELL. WONDERFUL WORK! I'm lost and going nowhere i need help to find my way |
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Rosie_Orange Junior Member
since 2009-04-20
Posts 46South Africa |
you're such an amazing poet... i really like this poem, the way your rhyming doesn't make it sound babyish but rather assists in making the poem better.. and i agree, i think it would make an amazing song!! (: |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
THIS FREAKING ROCKS!!! xx |
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