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| Teen Poetry #9 |
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punkrockerrobin 
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV 
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I've lost my way and i don't know where to go i keep searching and searching it seems so dark theses days no way out i feel like i am gasping for air the world seems so small i just want to escape the walls are closing in i should just give up runaway and start fresh but still i cant escape this world has it's claws in me one problem after another maybe if i close my eyes it will go away i try and i try but I'm so weak maybe one day i will be strong enough to overcome but for now I'm still searching and searching i'm lost and going nowhere |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
ok now that I've read this it seems kind of dark i didn't mean it to be it just came out and does it seem like i left it without an end? i'm lost and going nowhere |
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Octave Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186Highlands, Scotland. |
Don't worry about it feeling "dark". Sometimes our best creations are produced when we write with feeling rather than thought. It could do with a little tweaking here and there, but i think the ending is fine, personally. It started how it begun, with the point. I cant really give much of a critque as im not really into unrymthing poetry, so im a bit biased. Good stuff though, keep it up. |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
yea i hardly ever rhyme i jsut like to put words together and make it flow. but thanks i appreciate it I'm lost and going nowhere i need help to find my way |
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