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Teen Poetry #9
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Dear, Mr. President (a poem about President Bush)
| Teen Poetry #9 |
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Dear, Mr. President (a poem about President Bush) |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois 
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Dear Mr. President Can I ask you some questions? If you would be so kind As in to take a break from your life Come and speak your mind. For a moment lets pretend That you weren't anything more then me Because in the end that's what we are. Can you take a moment to look the way I see? Is it me or do you ignore us? It seems that all too true. How is it possible for you to sleep when people are dying; and you always knew? What do you think.. When you see people sleeping on the street? How can you hold your head up high while children can't afford shoes for their feet? What do you feel.. When your sitting at dinner eating a fine feast While people are starving in the country. And disease kills like a beast. How is it that you get everything you want. And the rest of us have to work to survive That you send husbands, father, and sons to a war.and we pray they'll come back alive. How come you didn't solve the problems? Because your the one we use to trust What happen to all that hope? Did it all disappear into dust? I see the government is falling But no ones gonna catch you when you fall Because you let us down Mr.President We're not gonna be your one last call. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
True enough. Before Bush, there was no one sleeping in the streets, no one was starving and there was no poverty or sickness. Darn him!! |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Haha, maybe it's a bit harsh to single out Bush for all this, but he didn't do a whole lot to improve it. Um...The 2nd to last stanza, I think you meant you're instead of your. And happened instead of happen. And the last line of the last stanza was a little confusing to me. There is power in the pen. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Yeah. First off, thanks for reading my poem.  Second, The last stanza ment like when ever someone is in trouble. For example like stuck in jail. You get one last phone call. And in this poem. I'm saying that America isn't gonna catch Bush when he falls. -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
It's pretty cool that you wrote something political. Makes me wanna go listen to Rage Against the Machine.  Only suggestion is to try and improve your flow. It seemed like you were jamming sylables and forcing rhymes. If rhyming is difficult for you, chill on it and try some free verse. Keep writing though! |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
My friend Michelle will forever despise you for blaming Bush she told me to let you know after she read this over my shoulder. I like it though. The last line was a bit confusing at first, but how you explained it made me appreciate it a lot. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Lol. Well Michelle your as free to your opinion as anyone else in this world. lol. Thanks for reading my poems GC. Much love, -Zach |
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LOSTinTHISworld Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 94canada |
i really enjoyed this, but to be honest i felt like it was a re-write of pinks dear mr president. the words have a great impact i just dont feel they were as original as they could have been. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Yeah that was where I got my title from to be honest. But really I didn't listen to that song. Like I knew what it was about so I used that as my subject. So its possible if it does sound like it. Thanks for reading though! -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
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