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Teen Poetry #9

when you're not here. .

flyinwiild
New Member

since 2009-10-07

Posts 9

0 posted 2010-08-29 09:00 PM

distance molds a perfect ache
ipatience plays a painful game. .
a burning heart, and stinging eyes
echoed ticking slows the time

a coldness overtakes the night
this bitter air steals the life
'i need you' choked out intact
collides with silence, a fatal crash

:: lets all pack up and move this year. . we'll slip the lirs, and disappear. ::

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

1 posted 2011-01-02 10:26 AM

I love this absolutely. This kind of writing is like a rhythmic chant. Only, the rhythm gets a little cut up in the second stanza but otherwise it's sublime. I enjoyed the story.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

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